


Protego

by svrsxsnp



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2019-09-02 04:09:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 26,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16779313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/svrsxsnp/pseuds/svrsxsnp
Summary: A witch from the United States comes to teach at Hogwarts. She tries to start life anew but is soon greeted with her past that she so desperately tried to get away from. With the help of a new friend will she be able to move on and kill her past?





	1. Hogwarts

It was a new school year at a new school. A school in a completely different country at that. What were you thinking? Hogwarts may be the best magic school, even though you’re rather impartial to Ilvermorny as that’s where you attended, but you were pleased to receive McGonagall’s invitation to teach nonetheless. This was Hogwarts’ first term since the battle, since the defeat of Voldemort. It took a year before they could open the school again. During that year there had been small cases of dark wizards around the world, even in the United States, but it was nothing compared to Voldemort. The cab ride to Kings Cross from the airport took enough time for you to really process what was happening. You were teaching at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry by personal invitation from Headmistress McGonagall. You hopped onto the train to head to Hogwarts the minute you arrived in the country. 

It was three days before classes started so the ride was rather lonely as the train was completely empty. Many of the professors, having already been in the country, had arrived at Hogwarts several days ago. They had so much time to prepare and get settled in. You searched through your bag for a small pocket watch to check the time. You were going to be late but there wasn’t much you could do about it. Replacing the watch into your bag you sigh and slide down comfortably into your seat. You start to drift off to sleep thinking you’ll just rest a bit and change and freshen up before you arrive. Sadly that was not the case and a few hours later you were awoken by the conductor letting you know that you had reached Hogsmeade Station. You woke with a start.

“Oh crap,” you mutter under your breath. You yell a thank you back at the conductor as you race off the train. You rush by Filch who is heaving your luggage off the train with angry grunts. “Thank you, hun,” you say, placing a hand on his shoulder quickly to show your appreciation. He perks up a bit after. You rush towards the front gate and are stopped by the sudden sight of the carriage being pulled by thestrals. How curious, you think to yourself and reach up to pet one. 

You hop into the carriage and enjoy the ride to the castle. It was a nice breather until the mad dash starts again. You step out of the carriage once it stops and are brought to an immediate halt at the sight of Hogwarts. You stand in awe of the castle, so lost in its beauty you almost forget about running late. That is until you hear bells chiming somewhere from the castle and realize that the meeting was supposed to start now. You run up the front steps whispering shit, shit, shit, shit with every step.

A ghost in the great hall grunts you in the right direction towards the teacher’s lounge and you head there in a full sprint only stopping once outside the door to adjust. You straighten out your knee length black dress. It clings to you a bit. It’s more so a slip as over it you have a sheer see through black lace cloth. It’s an inch longer than the slip and it has flowing sleeves that hang over and around the sleeves of the slip. The slip has long sleeves that come to a point at your middle finger. Your nails are sharp and painted black. You’ve got sheer black hose underneath the dress and you’re wearing black heeled boots. You pull a mirror out of your bag to check your long black hair. You stare back at your reflection for a moment. Anxiety fills your grey eyes. Your baby pink lips cracked from sleep. You lick them in an attempt to rid yourself from it. Lastly you straighten the pointed witches hat on your head and straighten out your cloak. You knock on the door softly and enter the room. 

“Ah, Miss Osbourne, I had wondered when you would join us,” said a stern looking witch.

You look around the room scanning the faces staring back at you, most smiled back. There was a short, plump witch and next to her an even shorter mustached man.. On the other side of the table however was someone who was not smiling. He looked rather uninterested in anything that was happening. He wore all black, had shoulder length black hair, and a hooked nose. At the head of the table was a stern looking woman with her hair pulled back in a tight bun. You assume she is Headmistress McGonagall. 

“Yes, sorry I’m so late,” you say apologetically. You approach her to shake her hand and you sit in the seat next to her, across from the black haired man.

“Well, now we can begin. I want to introduce you all to Eris Osbourne. Professor Osbourne will be taking over the defense against the dark arts position as Severus,” she said motioning to the black haired man, “has asked to return to his position as potions master and head of Slytherin in Professor Slughorn’s departure.” You and Severus make brief eye contact. “Professor Osbourne attended Ilvermorny, the North American wizarding school, and has been invited here personally by me. She has shown true potential in teaching our students. She fought in a battle against some wizards that were turning dark in the States.”

You didn’t like being boasted about, especially when it came to the battle, but you smile halfheartedly anyway, making eye contact again with Severus. He raises one of his eyebrows at you, as if challenging the idea that you could really hold your own in a duel. Perhaps he thought you were too small. Or perhaps he thought you too weak. You turn to McGonagall.

“Actually Headmistress, I was also hoping to discuss starting a dueling club here to help further teach students defensive and combative spells aside from in the classroom. I think it could be very beneficial and plus we could dedicate class time to other things. We had a club at Ilvermorny and I was the head of it as a student so I have some experience.”

“I quite agree with Professor Osbourne,” Severus spoke right after you. He had a rather deep voice that droned on and you felt as though you could fall asleep to it easily. “I’m afraid it seems the year we had the dueling club with Lockhart was a failure but the students seemed to be rather interested in the endeavor.”

“Yes, well. I will see that we can attempt to get that up and running. I’m assuming, Severus, that you will be willing to help out with this?” McGonagall questioned him with a smirk.

“If need be then, yes.”

The meeting carried on discussing the rules for the semester. There was a corridor students weren’t allowed down, they were not allowed in the forbidden forest, etc. Term started in three days. You spent the rest of the meeting getting to know the other professors a bit and discussing Ilvermorny and what it was like. Severus had attempted to slip out unnoticed but McGonagall stopped him before he could.

“Oh, Severus. I was hoping you could show Miss Osbourne to her classroom and office as you have to head in the same general direction.” She said this with a hint of a smile forming on her lips as Severus seemed dissatisfied with the request. 

“Yes, Headmistress,” he said, holding the door open for you. You quickly say your goodbyes, grab your bag, and follow him out the door. You follow him soundlessly through the castle and up the staircases. While waiting on some to move towards you Severus clears his throat.

“Ilvermorny, huh,” he says eyeing you suspiciously out of the corner of his eye. “What made you accept this position?”

“I, uh, needed a change of scenery. Thunderbirds favor adventurers,” you say with feign excitement.

“Thunderbird?”

“Yeah, that was my house,” you say, forgetting Hogwarts houses are different. “And anyway, they didn’t want me at Ilvermorny.” You both stop walking in front of a dark wooden door.

“Didn’t want you?” Severus starts to ask but you stop him.

“So… is this it?”

“Is this what?”

“My room. Is this it?” You ask, motioning to the wooden door.

“Oh, yes. Apologies. I hope you settle in well. I’m just down the hall if you need anything but please, don’t need anything,” he said this with what felt like forced kindness. He turned with a flourish of his cloak and headed down the dark hall.

You spent the three days before term getting your room organized. You dedicate one day to something specific. The first day was your private quarters. The second was the classroom and the third was a rough plan for the term. You had already worked on it all summer but things can always be improved. It was important to you that your first time teaching turned out well. You hadn’t left your quarters until the third night, having your meals delivered to your room as you were so focused on your work. On the third night, however, you decided to wander the castle after your dinner. Out in the grand staircase you stood for a long time looking at all the moving pictures that lined the walls. There was a hall similar to this at Ilvermorny but it wasn’t as huge a collection. You pass by the trophy room, taking in all the awards. As you make your way into the great hall you see McGonagall and Severus. You attempt to turn and head back to your room but the second McGonagall sees you she waves you over.

“Eris, Professor Snape and I were just about to head to Hogsmeade for a start of term butterbeer. Would you like to join?” She said this with the most genuine smile while Severus still looked relatively disinterested, except for when the headmistress looked at him. His expression softened just a fraction. It was the kind of look you’d give your mother.

“I was actually just heading-” you start but are immediately cut off by Severus.

“Nonsense. You will come with us as I haven’t seen you leave your quarters once since you’ve arrived.” 

“Well then,” said McGonagall, eyeing Severus coily. “You have to come. I will not allow you to return to your quarters until you’ve had at least two drinks with us.” She turns with purpose linking one of her small frail arms with one of Severus’.

You follow behind them with a small distance between you and them. You listen as Severus discusses the potions curriculum with McGonagall and you can tell it’s something he’s really passionate about. You also get the sense that he really cares for and respects McGonagall. It’s almost moving the way he looks at her. Severus really seems to show disinterest in everything except for potions and the headmistress. 

“So, Eris,” you look up quickly at the sound of your name. “What are your plans for the term? What are you going to teach the students?” He was testing you, you could tell that he was waiting for any moment to jump in and prove to be better at the dark arts than you.

“Well,” you say, speeding up to walk between him and McGonagall and he seemed a little put off by it. “I really want to teach them some defensive spells first. I find that many just seem to gloss over defensive spells as if it’s much more beneficial to be combative all the time. And while combative spells are obviously very important you need to know how to block and disarm. Before that though I think it would be very beneficial to also teach some lessons more oriented towards the understanding of the dark arts.” You pause for a moment, registering their responses to that statement.

“Would you care to further clarify?” Severus asked with a great amount of interest in his voice for once. You also notice that he’s looking at you with a brow furrowed in curiosity, one of his eyebrows lifting slightly.

“Yes, well I just mean that to understand the dark arts means to know the history of it. Who were some of the greatest dark wizards of all time? What drove them to be that way? And I don’t mean that in a ‘train them to understand dark magic so they can become dark wizards’ way. I just mean that if you need to defend yourself from it then you need to fully understand what it is that you are defending yourself from. It’s also a way to remove that fear. So many people fear the unknown and I think being informed on all of these things dark magic, dark wizards, etc can really help to make students understand what they could be up against once out there in the real world. Granted it’s been rather calm since the defeat of Voldemort but we’ve seen small croppings of dark wizards throughout in the world.”

“Just like in the States,” added McGonagall nodding.

“Yes! Exactly! I think this would also be a good way to mix note taking and book work with being able to actually use our wands and practice magic.”

“It seems you have it all planned out, Miss Osbourne, but if you do need any assistance I’m sure Severus here wouldn’t mind helping out as he has always shown an immense interest in the dark arts. He was once professor, as you know.”

“Yes, but the position seems to be cursed,” said Severus in a deadpan tone.

“Cursed?” You stop walking and McGonagall and Severus keep walking ahead of you, their arms linked again, and a small smile of both of their faces. You follow them the rest of the way to Hogsmeade soundlessly. They carry on several small conversations along the way and you just listen from a distance behind them. 

The little village of Hogsmeade was nice and quaint. The smell of sweets and the soon approach of fall fill your nose. You look around at all the little shops taking in the wonder. You manage to fall behind McGonagall and Severus as you look around the little village. You can only imagine how beautiful it would be with fresh snowfall.

“Come along, Osbourne. We’re headed to the Three Broomsticks,” McGonagall calls back to you and you are immediately pulled out of your trance. You jog up to them.

“I’ve never actually had butterbeer. We don’t have it in the States,” you say timidly.

“Well you’re about to be in for a treat,” McGonagall says as she holds the door to The Three Broomsticks open for you and Severus. You quickly find seats and order a butterbeer each. You enjoyed it and knew there would be plenty more to come tonight as you had an incredible sweet tooth and the drink hit the spot.

“Wow. These are amazing,” you say finishing your second butterbeer of the night. “I’m disappointed we don’t have these in the States.”

“Well just be glad you were wanted here then,” Severus said with that same voice that seemed to force kindness. The night went along slow as you took some time getting really comfortable talking to both of them but Severus mostly. You found him the most difficult to talk to. It was nice though. You had been so nervous you wouldn’t be able to fit in or get along with anyone, really. After long McGonagall headed back to the school to rest for the next day which was sure to be busy for her. You were left alone with Severus who sat across from you quietly watching the rest of the patrons. You would have liked to leave, not because it was awkward, but because you knew you needed to get some rest as tomorrow will likely test your nerves. But there in your warmth from the butterbeer and the pleasant conversations you’d had you couldn’t bring yourself to move. 

Instead you snuck glances at Severus. You watched his eyes glide from customer to customer. He stared with such intent at times that you wonder whether he was reading their minds. You read that he was a skilled legilimens after all. When his head had turned so you could see his profile you traced his hooked nose with your eyes. There were no laughter lines on his face and you found that very sad. You were interested in Severus. He was mysterious and dark and you didn’t quite understand what made him that way. You look away quickly as Severus catches you staring at him.

“Can I help you?” he asked, his eyes squinting at you just a fraction.

“Oh, I was just staring off into space. Sorry.” You fidget with your empty butterbeer glass. 

“We should probably be going soon,” said Severus watching your fingers twist the glass around lightly. Neither of you made a move to leave. So you sat in silence for a bit longer. Neither wanting to face the awkward walk back either alone or together. It was almost one thirty in the morning when you finally make the decision to get up and leave.

“Well, I think it’s about time I left,” you say standing and grabbing your cloak. You start to leave but Severus pulls the door open for you.

“Do you really think I’d let you walk back on your own at night?” 

“I was an auror once and I’ve fought off several dark wizards. I don’t think I really need your protection,” you say jokingly. Severus doesn’t laugh.

“Just let me walk with you, Osbourne.” 

You walk in silence for sometime but just before you get to the last building before leaving the village you stop to listen to two voices, one of which is incredibly familiar. Realization dawns on you and you pull Severus into a dark alley.

“What are you doing?!” He starts to shout angrily but you put a hand over his mouth, which he immediately pulls away, and you shush him with a finger over your lips. He starts to protest but stops when he hears footsteps nearby slowly approaching you. The two voices, which are initially what made you stop, start up again. They’re closer this time and you and Severus back further into the shadows, his body close to yours and you go rigid against him feeling strange to be that close to him.

“We shouldn’t be this close to the school. She’ll know I’m here,” says one of the voices angrily in an almost hiss. This is the voice you recognized. He was American.

“How was I supposed to know she would be teaching at Hogwarts? Don’t blame me,” says another unfamiliar voice but this one had a scottish accent.

“We saw her in the Three Broomsticks. We shouldn’t be here. We should have left hours ago. I can’t go to Azkaban. I swear to god I’ll kill her if I get the chance again.”

“It’s not like I want to go there either, Theo.” And the two disapparated.

“Would you like to tell me what in the bloody hell is going on?” Severus says to you once they’re gone. He looks angry and you are afraid of him for a moment.

“I can’t. Not until I talk to McGonagall. It’ll have to be in the morning. I need to sleep on this,” you say walking back out onto the sidewalk shaking your head in disbelief. You feel your chest tighten. “We need to get back to the castle quickly. I can’t be out here.”

Once back at the castle you immediately rush back to your room and Severus follows you. You knew he wanted an answer to what happened in Hogsmeade but you didn’t know if you could give one to him. Could you relive what happened last year when you fought those dark wizards? Could you relive what you had to do? You already have to relive it for McGonagall in the morning. Can you do it twice? You reach your room and you turn to Severus. 

“Thank you for tonight,” you say, your voice breaking a bit but you try to ignore it and turn to go back to your room but Severus grabs your arm. You don’t turn to face him but you let him stop you.

“What happened out there? I’m not letting you go until you talk to me,” he says to your back. You finally turn to face him, tears starting to fill your eyes.

“I can’t,” you try to say but you’re choking on your words and it only comes out as a whisper. You feel your heart begin to race and you feel as though you can’t breathe. Please not here, not with him, you start to think. You move to step around him but your knees buckle beneath you and you start to fall but Severus catches you and you crumple in his arms. He falls to the ground with you. “I-I can’t… breathe. Panic… panic attack,” you try to say to him but he shushes you. He holds you there until it passes. He holds you to him and you can feel his chest rise and fall against your back.

“Match my breathing. You’ll be okay. You’re safe,” he says to you soothingly. He has such a deep voice and it really does help to calm you. Once your breathing returns to normal you push yourself away from him and lean your back against the wall next to your door. You bring your knees up to your chest and shield your face from him.

“I’m sorry,” you say softly through broken sobs.

“What for?” 

“That you had to see this.”

“Look at me,” he says pulling your arms from around your face and lifting your face up from your knees.

“But I’m such a mess,” you say looking at him, tears streaming your face and you know they’re colored black from your makeup.

“It’s okay to be a mess sometimes. Look,” he says taking one of your hands and helping you up. “Let me take you to my quarters and I’ll make you some tea. You can rest and we can try to talk about this.” You nod and allow him to lead you to his quarters, your hand still in his but you were too numb to register the feeling of it.

You reach the door to the potions classroom. Inside it was cold and dark. The walls were stone and lined with hundreds of ingredients. He leads you through a door off to the side of the room that lead to his office and bedroom. There was a drastic change between these two rooms. While his classroom was cold and uninviting his office and sleeping space was very different. It was warm and inviting. He sat you down in a large chair near his fireplace, which he lit, and he handed you a soft blanket. 

“I’ll be back momentarily with some tea,” he said and headed out into his classroom again. You stared into the fire thinking about all that happened tonight. Would you be able to tell him what you did? He came back just a moment later with a cup of warm tea. It smelled faintly of honey. You took a sip and warmth ran over your body. You turn to face Severus sitting in a similar armchair opposite you.

“The story I’m going to tell you hurts. It’s something I’m still not comfortable living with. I had to do something that I regret every day,” you stop because you can feel a lump form in your throat and you felt like you might cry again. “But I trust you. That’s why I’m telling you.”

“I’m here to listen,” he says and leans back in his chair, maintaining eye contact with you. “Begin whenever you’re comfortable.”

You take a deep breath and exhale. You drink some more of your tea, stalling, thinking of what to say, thinking of how to start. Your mind races but Severus never takes his eyes off you. You probably shouldn’t but you find it comforting. You look him in the eyes finally ready to speak.

“Back when I was an auror and we had to fight those dark wizards that had started to appear in the States I was engaged to a man I would later have to face in battle. I was engaged to a man who would try to kill me.” You stop and try to understand Severus’ reaction to this but his expression hadn’t changed since you entered his room. You shift your gaze and stare into the fire in his fireplace. “His name was Theo. I met him in school. He was in house Wampus. We got together in our last year at Ilvermorny. Last year we fought in the same field he proposed to me in two years prior. He was leading the group of dark wizards in the US. They called themselves Nex Angeli. They were a group of new age death eaters. 

“For months I had been hunting down the man I was supposed to be starting a life with. I found out one night because he hadn’t come home. So I tracked him down and I found him in a meeting. I didn’t say anything, only watched. The group disbanded and I thought he was headed home so I tried to beat him there. He didn’t return for another two hours. It was my own stupid mistake for not following him. When he returned he was bloody and bruised. He had the audacity to lie to me and say he had been attacked by the very group he was leading. I pretended to believe him. The next morning we met for battle. I had alerted MACUSA of their plans and we had planned a surprise attack. I had to kill my own fiance. I had to kill the man I loved.” When you finally finished you had tears streaming your face. Your tea had gone cold and Severus had pain in his eyes.

“But that was Theo tonight in Hogsmeade. I heard the other wizard say his name,” he said, just as confused as you were.

“Yes, I don’t know how. Maybe he knew I knew what he was up to and that wasn’t Theo I killed. Maybe it was someone who had drank polyjuice potion. I don’t know. What I do know is he is incredibly dangerous.”

“Let me make you a new cup of tea. Yours has gone cold,” Severus said changing the subject. His hands were visibly shaking when he grabbed your cup. You couldn’t help but wonder if this was bringing up bad memories for him as well. Fear of another dark wizard rising to power. How close had he been to death? You were too afraid to ask. Your eyes started to grow heavy with sleep and also from crying. I’ll just rest my eyes until he gets back with the tea, you think. 

The next morning you awake in Severus’ bed but Severus is nowhere to be found. Did I sleep here last night? You think to yourself. You stand up and look around the room. You weren’t able to appreciate how nice and homey it felt last night but the room makes you feel safe somehow. You stretch and head out into the classroom to look for Severus. You walk out to find him talking to McGonagall. They both turn to look at you and you flush bright red.

“Nothing to be embarrassed about. I’ve told McGonagall about what happened last night. I told her your story. We’ve alerted the Ministry. They’ll be on the lookout for him. You’re safe here at Hogwarts.” You stand there for a minute looking from Severus to McGonagall. You point back to his room and start to say something about waking up in his bed. He didn’t- there’s no way we slept in the same bed, you think. As if reading your mind Severus says, “You were asleep before I got back with the tea. I didn’t dare disturb you as you had a rough night. I put you in my bed so you could sleep comfortably.”

“But where did you sleep?” You ask without hesitation or without thought, really.

“I didn’t,” he says as if it’s nothing. You stare at him with a look of discomfort. “I tried to sleep in one of the armchairs but I just didn’t feel comfortable knowing he was out there in Hogsmeade. He said he would try to kill you if he ever saw you again. I just couldn’t sleep.”

“If I may interject I think you’ll be in good hands here, Eris. As you know we’ve got Harry Potter on our team of aurors now. He’ll be by later on to ask you some questions about the encounter last night and any information you can give that will be helpful. I hope you are feeling up to it as I understand last night you suffered from a panic attack.”

“Yes, I think I’ll be fine but,” you pause and walk over to where McGonagall and Severus are sitting. “If there’s going to be a search I want to help. I failed to stop him before but I can’t live with myself knowing he might hurt someone else.”

“We need you here, Osbourne. We need you here training our future aurors so we can stop things like this from happening again,” says Severus with a stern but sincere voice.

“Should we alert the students when they arrive?” You ask.

“Yes, I do think that would be a good idea. Now, you and Severus should go get some food. You’ve both had a long night. I hope the rest of your day runs smoothly. We’ve got the first feast back today.” McGonagall says as she leaves the room.

“Come along, Osbourne. Let’s get you some food,” Severus says as he exists the classroom. You slip on your shoes and follow him out to the great hall. You try to straighten out your hair with your fingers as it’s a bit of a mess from sleeping. You can almost guarantee that there’s a ring of smudged black makeup around your eyes. When you enter the great hall you can see Harry Potter talking to Professor Flitwick and you immediately turn away.

“Oh no I can’t talk to him right now,” you say to Severus as you turn to leave. He follows you out. “I need to not look like I slept in your quarters right now.” You say and you leave Severus standing by the doorway to closest girls bathroom. You come out feeling a bit better having washed off yesterday’s smudged makeup and you’ve pulled your hair into a loose bun on the top of your head. “Okay. I feel better lets go.” This time when you enter the great hall Harry notices you enter with Severus and he has a mischievous look on his face.

“Good to see you again, Potter,” Severus says in a voice that leads you to believe that it really isn’t that good to see him again. 

“Good to see that you’re at least getting along with someone, professor,” Harry retorts back and Severus just turns to walk to the teachers table without another word. Harry then turns his attention to you, your face a little flushed. “You must be the new defense against the dark arts teacher? I’m Harry Potter.” You shake his outstretched hand.

“Yes, I am. I’m Eris Osbourne. I know we have some important things to discuss but I wasn’t expecting you so early. Do you mind if I eat while we talk?”

“Not at all,” he says gesturing to the piles of food lining the teacher’s table.

“Thank you so much. I’ll be right back,” you say and you rush up to the front to grab coffee, eggs, bacon, and two biscuits. Before you head back down Severus walks up next to you with a piece of half-eaten toast still in his hand. 

“If he gets on your nerves, which isn’t very hard for him to do, let me know and I’ll get rid of him for you,” Severus whispers to you in a joking manner. He was standing so close to you that your shoulder was brushing his arm. You wink at him, resting a hand on his arm, and tell him that he shouldn’t be so hard on Harry before walking back down to join the auror.

“Is Snape still just as cold and cynical as he used to be?” Harry asks as you sit across from him. You shrug.

“He was when I first met him but he’s been really helpful in getting adjusted,” you pause for a minute. “I’m glad he was with me last night. It really helped to have him with me.”

“Well he’s seems to soften around you. Not to mention he hasn’t stopped looking at you since you left him at the teacher’s table.” You choke on an egg when Harry says this and you look to see Severus watching you and he doesn’t bother to hide it. There’s an intense look in his eyes.

“He’s just being concerned,” you say taking a bite of your bacon.

“Anyway, let’s discuss what happened last night. I know the basic story from Snape. He sent me an owl late last night.”

“We were leaving the Three Broomsticks and I heard Theo’s voice. I wasn’t sure it was him at first but if it was I knew I needed to hide. Severus and I pulled back into a dark alley and waited for them to pass. I got a good look at him. It was definitely Theo.”

“And there was another man with him?”

“Yes, Scottish, short shaggy brown hair. I didn’t recognize him.”

“Did you get a name?”

“No, I didn’t.” You stop speaking and adjust the way you’re sitting. You were getting anxious. “Theo’s hair is much longer than when I last saw him. It’s long now and pulled back into a ponytail. He’s grown a beard and is very skinny.”

“Now,” said Harry readjusting in his seat. “When you last saw him you were dueling and you killed him?”

“Yes, at least, I thought so. I mean, I was definitely dueling someone who looked like him.”

“And you’re positive that you saw Theo Bates in Hogsmeade last night.”

“Yes! Who else would I have seen?!” you say a bit louder than you intended and you see Severus shift at the teachers table.

“Calm down, Miss Osbourne. I’m only asking just to make sure.”

“I’m sure I can recognize my ex-fiance easily enough, Mr. Potter,” you say mimicking a tone even Severus would be proud of. Severus came and stood next to you, placing a tentative hand on your shoulder and you jump at his touch.

“If she says it’s him, Potter, then it’s him. I trust her to tell the truth.”

“Alright then. Well, I’ll be going. We’ve got a search underway. If you hear anything new let us know. Have a good day, Miss Osbourne,” Harry says before he leaves and you turn to Severus. You stand so you aren’t having too look up at him from your seat. You’re still very short compared to him.

“Thank you. For last night. For just now. Thank you.” And without thinking about it you hug him. Your arms wrapped around his torso and your head buried into his chest. His arms raise in surprise but he never touches you. Your face gets hot from embarrassment and the tears forming in your eyes. “I’m sorry. I should go.” You turn to leave and you see McGonagall clapping softly at the teachers table. No doubt cheering the idea of someone giving Severus affection. You’re feeling overwhelmed. Embarrassment from hugging Severus and waking up in his bed this morning, anger at Harry for questioning you, gratitude and confusion that Severus is being so kind to you, and sadness or betrayal at Theo. You don’t know how to process it all other than crying. You cover your mouth stopping a sob from escaping and you rush out of the great hall to your room.

Once in your room you don’t know what to do with yourself. Your class is prepared for tomorrow. Your room is always clean. You change into clean clothes and head for the school grounds. Maybe a nice walk outside in the fresh air is just what you need. You grab a book to bring with you in hopes you find somewhere nice to sit and read. After walking for sometime you find a nice shady spot under a tree near the lake to read. You had been here reading for what felt like an eternity even though you know it can’t have been more than an hour. 

“I used to come here and read,” you hear Severus say behind you. You close your eyes and take a deep breath before he comes to sit next to you. “Look about what happened…”

“Can we just forget it ever happened?” You snap at him not wanting to think about it again.

“It’s forgotten.”

“I was just feeling very overwhelmed. It won’t happen again,” you say opening your book back up and continuing to read as if Severus wasn’t there.

“That’s one of my favorites,” he says pointing to the cover of your book. “Judging by the breakage in the spine I can tell you read it a lot.”

“It’s a good book. A great story of selfless sacrifice.” You pause awkwardly. “It was my father’s.”

“Were you two close?”

“Yes, until he passed, much closer than my mother and I. My mother never particularly liked me.”

“It was the opposite for me. My father never liked anything much.” He turned to look at you. “Is your mother a muggle?”

“Both of my parents are actually. My father was much more accepting of having a daughter that is also a witch.”

“I’m sorry.” He looks out at the lake, a distant look in his eye and you close your book finally to listen to him. “I’m trying to be more open with you. You told me something that was hard for you to talk about last night and I feel like I pushed you. It’s only fair that I open up to you.”

“No, no it’s fine. I needed to talk about it. I hadn’t told anyone before last night because, I guess, somewhere in my mind I thought that if I didn’t talk about it it never happened. Theo and I just weren’t right for each other. It was just a break up. I didn’t kill him or, at least, didn’t try to. I know none of those things are true but somewhere in my mind I tried to lock away the truth so I didn’t have to face it because it hurt too much.”

“You don’t have to talk about it anymore. It’s okay,” he says to you.

“I know. Thank you,” you say and you lean your head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry I hugged you. I don’t know why I did that.”

“Emotions make us do strange things, Osbourne, it’s okay. It was just a hug. I’ll be okay.” He fell silent.

“Sev,” you feel him go rigid under your cheek. “Can I ask you something?” He shifts awkwardly under you and he hesitantly leans his head against yours.

“Depends on the question.”

“Why are you so closed off all the time?” You feel him sigh. “I’m sorry you don’t have to answer.”

“No, it’s fine. I understand why you asked I just-,” he pauses.

“You can’t talk about it. I get it. If you ever feel like you need to talk about it I’ll be here to listen.” Neither of you say anything after that for a while. You both drift off and are awoken a few minutes later by Hagrid.

“Ah, Professor Snape, didn’ see ya there. Sorry fer waken’ ya,” he says with a wide smile on his face. When he wanders off you hear him mumble something about “telling McGonagall. She’ll be so happy.” Severus shifts out from under you softly.

“I better go follow the oaf and see what he’s so happy to be telling Minerva.” He leaves you and the feeling of suddenly being alone feels heavier than it’s ever been. You lean your head back against the trunk of the tree and look up at the sky through the leaves. What am I doing? I can’t let myself get attached to someone else. Especially someone I barely know. Severus is just a good friend. He’s just a coworker. Your mind is racing. There is a bell ringing in the distance and you realize it’s getting close to five o’clock. You head inside to change into an outfit for the feast and you fix your hair and makeup. You head down to the great hall and take your place next to Severus at the teachers table. No doubt the seating arrangement was McGonagall’s doing in an attempt to push you and Severus closer.

“Are you ready for the feast?” Severus asks you.

“Actually, yes. I’ve been wanting to teach for such a long time and I’m just so happy McGonagall has given me this opportunity.”

“She is big on giving people chances,” he says with a pained look in his eyes.

“Sounds like that came from a personal experience.”

“Yes.” And he didn’t say anything more. An hour later the students were brought into the hall. The first to be brought in were the students that had been sorted before the battle. There was a lot of loud chatter in the few minutes before Hagrid brought in the first years. No doubt from all the excitement about being back at school again. You watch the students get sorted and there was a great cheer after as this was the first moment the school had seen new students since they lost so many in the battle. 

“This is the smallest group of incoming first years Hogwarts has ever seen,” Severus whispered to you.

“I wonder why,” you say looking around the room at the students and the joy on their faces from being back at Hogwarts.

“Probably because of the dark wizards cropping up and the last time Hogwarts was open we were attacked by Voldemort,” Severus says and you look down in sadness.

“And now that Theo is out and about-” You trail off. Severus starts to say something but is cut off by McGonagall.

“Welcome everyone to a new year at Hogwarts. I know it has been a while since the last time our doors were open but we are ready and stronger than ever. This school will always have the ability and resilience to bounce back no matter what is thrown at us. Now, without further ado we would like to welcome our newest defense against the dark arts professor,” McGonagall motions for you to stand. There was a small applause. You stand and nod your head towards the students to say ‘hello’ and you give a quick smile and wave before sitting back down. “This is Professor Osbourne. She came all the way from the United States to teach you so please show her some respect especially as she tries to become more accustomed to living in this new place,” she turns to smile at you. 

McGonagall talks for some time about many of the things covered in the meeting your first day at Hogwarts. You stare out at the students, split by their houses. McGonagall begins to warn the students about Theo and you look down, your eyes closed, trying not to think about what could happen if he’s not caught. She explains to the students that it should not affect their Hogsmeade trip later in the year but there is a chance it could and the crowd groans.

“Now, let the feast begin!” announces McGonagall after some time and food spreads across the tables. There were foods of all kinds. You had never seen anything like it. You fill your plate with small portions of everything wanting to try it all and also make up for your lack of eating recently.

“Hungry, are we?” Severus says next to you.

“Uh, yes, actually,” you say stumbling over your words a bit. “I haven’t eaten a lot since I’ve been here, to be honest,” you say, stuffing your face.

“And why not?”

“Because I’ve been fully immersed in my work and it hasn’t crossed my mind to stop to eat. I’ve just forgotten entirely and, to be honest, I’ve also been a little too anxious to eat. Plus, today it’s just been hard to settle my mind.”

“Anxious about classes?”

“Yeah. New place, new students. I’ve never taught before. How do I know I’ll be good? I’ve always loved the dark arts and I want these students to love it too. I want them to understand it’s more than just ‘dark’ arts. It’s not just a dark wizard thing.” You were talking a mile a minute. “What if I’m not a good enough professor?” You finally stop talking and Severus just stares at you for a moment, a hint of concern in his eyes.

“I’ll just stop you right there. You very clearly care. This is important to you, yes?” You nod, not looking at him. He takes a bite of his food before continuing. “Then you’ll be fine. Don’t stress too much. Plus, I did some research on you and I think you’ll do fine.” He hesitates for a minute. “Look at me,” he says and you look at him, his eyes bore into you. “You’ll be fine. Now eat.” You stare at him for a moment, confused by his concern. “Please,” he says, pushing some bread onto your plate. “And get some rest tonight.” He takes a final sip of his pumpkin juice and heads to speak to McGonagall. 

You take a bite of a roll you stuffed some ham into and stare out at the students. You notice some, mostly slytherins, staring back at you with curious looks on their faces and you can’t help but wonder if it’s because they could see Severus’ concern for you. It must be unusual behaviour for him. You look away, a little embarrassed, and stuff your mouth with food. You catch Severus looking at you out of the corner of your eye and you feel your cheeks flush. You can see him hold back a chuckle. You avoid his eyes the rest of the night, even when he sits back down next to you. You can feel him stop himself a couple times from speaking to you. He felt rigid and tense next to you. After you finish eating you stand quickly, whispering a soft ‘goodnight’ to Severus, and head back to your quarters before the feast had ended without a single look back at him.

You shower once back at your quarters. It’s so warm and you hope that the heat will wash away your discomfort from the day. Your thoughts start to race through your mind. Why did he have to be so nice? Why did that make you so uncomfortable? You finished showering ten minutes ago but the warmth is so calming and welcoming. You lean your head back with your eyes closed and let the water run over your face. The heat stinging your eyes. Your mind flashes back to an old memory of Theo and you feel a pang in your chest. Hatred? Sadness? You don’t know but your thoughts are interrupted by a knock at your door.

“Just a minute!” You yell and shut the water off. You grab your black night dress and pull it on after drying off. You open the door to your chamber and come face to face with Severus. You immediately feel the need to cover up even though there is nothing remotely revealing about your dress.

“Can I come in?” He says softly.

“Sure, of course.” You mumble yes a few more times and a welcome to him as you grab a long sweater and pull it around you. You stand there for a minute watching him walk around your room, your wet hair dripping to the floor with small little tinkling sounds. Your room’s walls are lined with books, old records, and potion ingredients. You walk over to the fireplace and point your wand at it. Little bursts of fire fly out and light the logs. 

“You’ve got quite the collection here,” Severus says, a hand tracing across a couple of your no-mag books.

“What are you doing here?” You ask, folding your arms across your chest and avoiding his comments about your books and avoiding his eyes as best as you can. 

I just wanted to make sure you were alright. You rushed from the great hall so quickly I was concerned you might be sick, you know, because today was stressful for you. I brewed you a potion in hopes it would help.” He hands you a vial. “But as I can now see,” he gestures to your potion ingredients. “You probably don’t need it.” He rubs his hands together. He seems a bit embarrassed. Or maybe vulnerable?

“I was just feeling a bit overwhelmed.” You watch his hands, their continuous motion. You find yourself wondering whether they are soft or rough from years of potion making. You can just see a few burns and scars lining his hands and fingers. You shake the thought from your mind. “I’m sorry if I worried you,” You say almost yelling at him, hoping to stop the thoughts of his hands. “I just needed to be alone for a bit.” He drops his hands to his sides.

“I’ll just be going then,” he says heading for the door but you run in front of him to block him off.

“No, no, no, I didn’t mean,” you stop speaking to push yourself between him and the door. Looking up at him you’re shocked by how close he is to you. His face so close to yours you can feel his breath. He smelled faintly of pepperup potion and you can only assume that was the potion he brewed for you. His eyes linger on yours and you could have sworn that they dipped down to your lips for a moment before he turned away from you to stand in front of your fireplace.

“I really should go. You should probably rest,” he says, not looking at you but part of you wishes he would.

“Yeah. I probably should.” You agree with him but you know that once he’s gone you’ll lay in bed for hours unable to sleep because you will be over analyzing every aspect of this interaction tonight. You follow him out into the corridor.

“I hope your first class goes well tomorrow. Don’t overthink it, Osbourne. You’ll be great,” he says all this without looking at you. He turns away from you with what seemed like disappointment. He gets a few strides away from you before you call out to him. He turns to look at you finally, a softness in his eyes. “Yes?” He asks as you take a small step closer to him.

“I just wanted to thank you,” you say and he raises an eyebrow at you waiting for a further explanation. “For- for the potion. It was really very thoughtful.” You could see him hold back a smile but the corners of his mouth twitched up in protest.

“Goodnight, Osbourne.”

The next morning you drink the pepperup potion Severus gave you hoping for the chipper mood that comes with it. You dress in a black pant suit, black cloak, and black boots. You head down the corridor towards the great hall for breakfast. You notice there’s a bit more pep in you compared to last night and you’re thrilled that the potion is improving your mood. You head over to the teacher’s table where there is already food spread across its surface. You see Severus sitting alone at the far end of the table, reading the daily prophet, and eating a piece of toast.

“Good morning, Sevy.” You say, sitting next to him with a plate of eggs and bacon. You sit in silence for a beat. “Oh my god. I’m sorry. I really don’t know why I called you that.” You drop your face into your hands in embarrassment.

“You smell like pepperup. The potion can sometimes have stronger effects on witches or wizards who need that extra perk for various reasons,” he says turning towards you and folding the newspaper and setting it on the table.

“I’ve had it before but it’s never affected me quite like this.”

“Obviously you’ve never had one brewed quite this strong then. Or this well,” he says matter-of-factly and turns back to his breakfast. 

“Are you insulting my potion making skills?”

“You can’t be good at everything, Osbourne,” Severus says holding back a chuckle and takes a sip of his coffee. You stare at him open-mouthed and smiling but it fades quickly.

“Is the position actually cursed?” You ask, turning to face him so he could see how serious you are. “Is that what’s happening right now? Is it the curse?” Severus choked on his coffee.

“That was just a joke, Osbourne,” he says placing a tentative hand on your shoulder. “The position isn’t cursed. We just say that because we lose defense against the dark arts teachers every year for various reasons. The effects of the potion should wear off in an hour or two.”

“Oh no! I have class in half an hour.” You try to sound displeased but the potion counteracts that and instead you sound thrilled. Or at least fake thrilled. You sigh and sink down into your chair.

“This should be a very interesting class,” Severus says taking a sip of his coffee. “I almost wish I could be there to watch you fail.”

“I. Could. Use. Some. Support!” You say hitting him on his arm with his newspaper with every word. You toss it back down onto the table. “This is all your fault, by the way.”

“I’ll make sure I never brew you another potion again.”

“Hey! That’s not fai-”

“Look at the time, shouldn’t you be heading off to class?” He says interrupting you. You huff at him and head to class. As if I wasn’t already anxious enough, you think to yourself as you walk into your classroom. It was full with a mixed class of students from each house. The chatter stopped the second you walked in. 

“Good morning, class,” you say as you walk to the front of the room. You turn to face the class once you reach your desk. “I’m Professor Eris Osbourne. Today is just going to be a relaxing, get to know everyone type of class. I feel it is important to know each of you to build a relationship.“ You look around the room at the students, judging their reactions. They seem hesitant. “Anyway, as I said, I’m Professor Osbourne. I attended Ilvermorny in the United States and now I’m here teaching you.” A Ravenclaw in the back of the room raised her hand and you call on her.

“Weren’t you an auror before?” She asks this as if she already knew the answer.

“Why, yes!” You were surprised that she knew. “I was an auror in the states. This is my first time teaching.” You notice that Severus had slipped silently into the room and was leaning against a back wall. He catches you staring and brings a finger up to his lips, shushing you from announcing his entrance. A couple students had a few more questions about life in the states, life as an auror, what MACUSA was like, and about Ilvermorny.

“So, that makes you our youngest professor currently, right?” Asks a slytherin girl. When you nod she turns to another slytherin next to her and whispers, “She’s only a couple years younger than Professor Snape.” The class erupts into giggles and whispers.

“Alright, that’s enough,” you say feeling your face flush and noticing Severus’ discomfort in the back of the room. “Let’s talk about what we’re doing this term.” As you start discussing boggarts and patronuses you notice Severus slip out of the room. Once class was dismissed you went to to walk the students out but Severus met you at the door. Some of the students noticed and started whispering amongst themselves. Severus closed his eyes in irritation. He opened them to look at you.

“How did your class go?” He asked.

“Great. Uh, great.”

“Great. Can I talk to you?” He seemed rather in a hurry to be out of the hall.

“Sure but I have a class soon.” You escort him up to your office. “What did you-” you start but notice there’s some discomfort on his face. “What’s wrong?” You ask but he didn’t say anything. “You can talk to me Sev.” His eyes met yours. They were soft but there was a hint of fear or… hurt? You weren’t sure but it made you concerned.

“It’s nothing. Forget I said anything. I have a class.” He turns to leave but when he pulls open the door he is faced with a full classroom and you notice that he immediately tenses up. The class bursts into excited whispers.

“Th-thank you professor for the, uh, the potion advice. I will try it out later,” you say attempting to diffuse the situation.

“Yes, if you aren’t too incompetent you shouldn’t have too much of a problem following the instructions I gave you.” And with a quick flourish of his cloak he left the room and the class fell silent, looking back forth from one another to you. You spent this class the same as the last but when you open up the class for questions a hufflepuff girl asks a question you weren’t prepared for.

“So, do you like Professor Snape?” You hear a couple people gasp and the room gets dead silent. 

“Well of course. He’s been a great help getting adjusted to life here at Hogwarts. He’s not as grumpy as you guys think he is.” 

“Yeah, after the defeat of Voldemort he was less harsh,” a slytherin student spoke up. “I guess all that time spent as a double agent weighed on him a lot.”

“Not to mention losing the love of his life,” said a gryffindor.

“Okay, alright. Moving on,” you say and just like in the last class you change the subject back to classwork this term. Another hour passed while you discussed the term. “Alright, class is dismissed. Next class let’s try and keep discussion of our other professor’s private lives to a minimum please.” You keep a smile on your face until the last student leaves. You sigh and drop down into your desk chair, happy for the breather until your next class in two hours. You lean your head back against your chair and close your eyes. What did they mean by ‘the love of his life,’ you wonder. Your thoughts are interrupted by a light tap on your open door. 

“Rough first day? You hear McGonagall say.

“No, no. It’s been great,” you say sitting up to look at her. 

“That’s good. Severus recommended that I come and check up on you.” You look at her a bit confused. Did he now, you think.

“Can I ask you something, headmistress?”

“Yes, of course, dear. What about?”

“About Severus.” you say, a bit hesitant, looking at McGonagall out of the corner of your eye.

“Oh, yes. He seems rather interested in you and it’s honestly rather nice considering how much of a loner he is.” You just stare at her for a minute, a bit shocked and your face started to flush. “Is that not what you were going to ask?” You assume she could tell by your shocked expression that she was right. “I’m so sorry. What were you going to ask? I just get ahead of myself sometimes. I care for him like a son and i just want to see him happy.” You nod hearing the sincerity in her words.

“I wanted to ask you about his past? I had a couple students mention something about a ‘lost love.’ They had also mentioned his work as a double agent, which I’m familiar with as I read up on him before working here. I just didn’t know-”

“That he was capable of love,” says McGonagall interrupting you. “Not many people do. It’s a sad story. It’s weighed on him for a while. Her name was Lily Evans. She had a doe patronus. She was such a beautiful and bright student. Her and Severus were childhood friends. She was the only friend he had. Severus didn’t grow up in a great home. He was poor and his father was abusive. To him and his mother but Lily was always so good for him. When they got to Hogwarts Lily was sorted into gryffindor and Severus was sorted into slytherin. They remained friends but their relationship became strained as his feelings for her grew and as she developed feelings for James Potter, a fellow gryffindor. A man who relentlessly bullied Severus. 

“For all the good that James did and how good of a man he became he was a terrible bully in his time here at Hogwarts. Severus would fight back but James and his three friends would gang up on him. I’ve asked both Severus and James why he bullied him but I’ve never gotten a clear answer. Severus has said that James bullied him solely because he existed which seems ridiculous to me. One day in particular Severus was humiliated by James in front of the whole school out in the courtyard and Lily laughed at him. Severus called her a mudblood. It hurt Lily to hear him say it and she never forgave him. He tried to apologize as it only came from a place of pain. She never would have loved Severus. He was too into the dark arts and Lily vehemently hated the dark arts. She would have changed Severus in order to love him. Severus had felt so much guilt about what he called Lily. He always wanted to apologize to her but he never got the opportunity. She married James Potter and the rest is history.”

“She was murdered by Voldemort and that’s why Severus became a double agent.”

“Yes, it’s a rather sad story, isn’t it? But I’ve seen him feel more comfortable and almost happy around you in the last few days. You’ve been so great for him.” You look down after she says this. “I think he’s also been great for you. I also think he sees a lot of himself in you.” She pauses briefly, eyeing you before speaking softly. “I see a lot of him in you too.”

At this you look down at your hands and fiddle with a loose thread on the hem of your jacket. Is this why he’s been so nice to me, you ask yourself. You sit in silence for some time until it grows heavy and you become uncomfortable.

“I think I’m going to rest. Take some time to be alone before my next class,” you say getting to your feet to escort McGonagall out.

“I’ll have your lunch sent up to your room if you’d like?”

“Yes, please. Thank you,” you say with a forced smile on your face. You return to your quarters and slide down into one of the large armchairs facing your fireplace. It doesn’t take long for your food to arrive but you can barely eat it. You send the plate back to the kitchens with barely half of it eaten. Two hours later and you’ve finished your last class of the day. You return to your room and curl into your bed and wrap into a blanket. You’re exhausted emotionally. These last couple days have been rough. You start to doze off to sleep but you are interrupted by a light knock at your door. You shout that it’s unlocked and Severus steps into the room. 

He looks just as exhausted. You want to retreat further into your blankets. You want to put some kind of barrier between you and him. You don’t know if you can look at him right now. You don’t push the blankets up. Instead you sit up and watch him stay by the door, keeping his distance. He folds his hands together in front of him.

“I didn’t see you at lunch. I wanted to make sure you were alright,” Severus said not taking his eyes off you.

“I’m okay,” you say without breaking eye contact. He’s trying to read you. You can tell by the slight squint in his eyes and the growing crease between his brows that deepens when he is concentrating. I can’t get away from this man, you think to yourself. “I just chose to eat alone. I’ve got a lot on my mind.”

“Is it Theo?” Severus asks.

“That’s part of it.” You thought about lying and telling him that was all it was but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

“May I ask what else is bothering you?”

You hesitate. “Do you visit the other professors this much, Severus? Or is it just me?”

“I only came because I was concerned for your protection. Forgive me but we only just heard the other night that there is a man you once tried to kill lurking only a few miles from here saying he’d kill you when he got the chance. If that is a problem then I will gladly go,” he snapped. You could tell he was upset but you couldn’t stop yourself.

“I just don’t think we should be visiting each other’s quarters on the daily, do you?” You stare him down. You can feel your face getting hot. “I mean, what would the other professors think? The students are already talking and McGonagall keeps trying to-to-”

“To what?!” He yells, interrupting you. It broke you.

“I can’t be what you want me to be, Severus. I can’t be this person that I’m not.”

“And, pray tell, what do I want you to be?”

“I’m not her. I’m not Lily,” you say in almost a whisper and you can see the immediate hurt on his face. It crushes you. He storms out of the room, slamming your door so hard it bounces back and hits the wall behind it. Your last view of him is his black cloak waving behind him before your door swings shut again.


	2. Starting Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Professor Eris tries to start over but will it work in her favor?

A few weeks had passed and you hadn’t seen Severus. Well besides at the great hall for feasts or in the conference room when McGonagall calls for a meeting. When these rare sightings do occur there isn’t a single glance in your direction. Not a word. Not a glare and your heart breaks little by little every day thinking that you ruined the only friendship you’d been able to make. You tried speaking to him on rare occasions when you plucked up enough courage but he’d always ignore you, get up and leave, or turn to speak to McGonagall.

A month had now passed. October was in full affect. It was your favorite month. It was fall! You couldn’t wait to experience Halloween at Hogwarts. You had heard it was magical. You hoped so. You needed something to cheer you up, but October first rolled around and you couldn’t bring yourself to be happy.

October tenth. Your birthday. You hadn’t said anything to anyone about it besides McGonagall because she had asked weeks ago about it. You didn’t really care for your birthday. You’d rather just forget it ever happened but the morning of you woke up to a note from McGonagall calling a meeting and you knew that it had to be about your birthday. Why else would she call a meeting on a Saturday morning? She’d never done so before. You dress in your normal all black attire but don’t bother with makeup and you let your long black hair flow freely down your back. Your small curls frame your face.

You felt your heart drop when you walk into the room. You scan the room for Severus but he is nowhere to be seen. His familiar, dark figure was missing. These were your only times to see him and he wasn’t here. McGonagall noticed your sadness and when you made it to your seat next to her she placed her hand on yours. 

“He’ll be here. I promise,” she said and then she let go of your hand to stand and address the room. “I called you all in today on this lovely Saturday morning to celebrate something so important.” She turned to smile at you and you felt your face flush. You knew she would do this. You shouldn’t have told her your birthdate.

“Oh! Is it Miss Osbourne’s birthday?” asked Flitwick with excitement.

“It is!” said McGonagall. “That’s why we’re all here. I was down in the kitchens all night just to make sure I had a cake ready in time. She’s never forgotten any of our birthdays so we have to return the favor.”

“You didn’t have to do all that,” you say. “I just enjoy seeing others happy.”

“Why didn’t you say anything about it being your birthday?” asked Professor Sprout but before you could answer you noticed Severus has slipped into the room unnoticed and had heard Professor Sprout’s question. The room grew quiet. The silence was suffocating and tension was so thick. McGonagall broke the silence.

“Nice of you to join us, Severus. Sorry for the late notice I wanted this to be a surprise for Eris. I want her to enjoy her time here at Hogwarts.” McGonagall smiled at you when she said this and then turned to smile at Snape. He looked uncomfortable. “Anyway, what were you saying, Eris?” McGonagall asked you.

“Oh, umm,” you start. Your voice was a bit shaky and there was a growing discomfort in the pit of your stomach. “I just don’t normally celebrate it. That’s why I didn’t say anything.”

“And why not?” Severus asked you, a bit of edge in his voice. The first words he’d said to you in weeks and judging by the look on his face you don’t think he meant to say it.

“It’s just not a happy day for me,” you say not breaking eye contact with him. He breaks it almost immediately. 

“Well let’s make this a happy day then,” says McGonagall. “I hope you like your cake. It’s made from butterbeer.” You spent the next hour enjoying the cake and the pleasant company trying not to think about the dark shadow of Severus in the corner of the room.

The discomfort only grew worse at the breakfast table with his looming presence feeling heavy next to you. Mail arrived and you received a few things from home. You wait to open them in private. After mail a few of the other professors brought you small gifts. They were things like a new witch's hat, some spell books, and even a small mug for butterbeer.

The same thing happened at lunch and a few times throughout the day in the corridors. Even some students brought you some things with tags that read, “to the best professor.” These warmed your heart the most. While at lunch one student brought you a card they had made that when you opened black cats danced around on the inside. You make a mental note to set it on your mantelpiece. Out of the corner of your eye you see Severus get up and leave. He seemed frustrated. He disappeared for the rest of the day after that. He wasn’t there for most of dinner. When he did return he didn’t eat. He walked straight up to you.

“Are you finished eating? He asked quietly. You nod. “Take my hand and follow me.” You do as he says, unsure of where you’re going. You notice McGonagall smile as you leave and some of the students whisper to each other excitedly. After awhile you realize you are headed to his room. Once at his door he stops and turns to face you his surprisingly soft hand still tightly closed around yours. Your hands feel small in his. “I’m sorry I’ve been so distant. You were right though. I can’t keep holding onto the past. I was just scared of letting go. I didn’t want to lose her but moving on doesn’t mean I will forget her.” He stops and shakes his head. This wasn’t what he wanted to say. “So this is an apology.” You stare at him for a moment a little shocked but also so happy.

“Thank you for telling me but you don’t need to apologize. We all make mistakes. We all have rough pasts.” You pause. “I should be apologizing to you. I shouldn’t have said the things I said.” He shakes his head at you saying you’re wrong. You smile at him a little and the tension in his shoulders loosen. You’re hesitant but you wrap him in a small hug. He actually hugs you back this time. It’s short and small but the tightness of his arms around you make you feel whole in a way you haven’t in a long time.

“Okay. Enough of this. I have something for you,” he says pushing you away lightly. You look at him with a puzzled expression but he ushers you forward into his room. He brings you back to his quarters. You hadn’t been back here since that night in Hogsmeade. You stand awkwardly by the door while he goes to his desk. He returns with a small rectangular package wrapped in green parchment.

You stare at him for a moment trying to hide a smile. He gives you a look that says, ‘Don’t just stand there. Open it.’ What on Earth could he have gotten you? He tells you to open it and you turn to sit in one of his armchairs before opening it. You tear at the paper and you can tell it’s a book. You rip the paper off and it’s a copy of ‘A Tale of Two Cities’ by Charles Dickens. You feel tears start to form.

“Your dad’s copy was so old and torn so I got you this hardback copy. I know it’s an important book to you,” he says but before he can finish you cut him off.

“I love it. Thank you so much,” you say and you turn to look at him. “I missed you. I hope that’s not too much to say. This, getting to talk to you again, was the best gift I could have asked for. “

“I’m glad,” Severus said. “Happy birthday, Eris.” You smile at the sound of him saying your name. You really did miss him and you didn’t care if he knew.

“I could really go for a walk and a butterbeer right about now,” you say. Severus hesitates.

“Are you sure? We saw Theo there last time.”

“I know but it’s been over a month now and I can’t be afraid of leaving the castle for the rest of my life.”

“Alright. Let’s grab your cloak first. It’ll be a cold walk.” After grabbing your cloak you and Severus head to Hogsmeade. Once at The Three Broomsticks you sit at a table in the back so as not to be bothered. You eah order a butterbeer.

“I feel like we know nothing of each other besides our traumas,” you say jokingly but you are being serious. “I want to know everything about you, Sev.”

“What do you want to know?” He asked but he was clearly a little uncomfortable.

“Everything! What do you love? What are you passionate about? If you weren’t teaching what would you be doing? What makes you happy?”

He thought for a long time before answering. “I do really enjoy potion making. It allows me to work with my hands and keeps the mind from wandering. If I wasn’t teaching I’d probably open an apothecary or travel but I do actually enjoy reaching contrary to what people think.”

“See that’s interesting,” you say, your face lighting up.

“What about you?” He asked you.

“I’d probably still be an auror even though I hated it. I always wanted to teach ever since I was little.”

“Why did you do it if you hated it?”

“Because I wanted to be apart of something greater. I wanted to fight back against what was happening. I remember hearing about Voldemort and what happened here and I was devastated. I didn’t think I could help as a teacher at the time but recent events have changed my mind. I wasn’t really meant to be an auror.” You are silent for a moment. You had finished your butterbeer a long time ago but didn’t want to order another and interrupt the conversation. “Tell me a secret, Sev. Something no one knows about you,” you say to him finally.

“I’m really good at gobstones.” he says nonchalantly.

“Really?”

“My mother taught me. She was the president of the gobstone club during her time here at Hogwarts.”

“That’s really cool. I bet you have some really fond memories of her teaching you.”

“For the most part. My father would end up interrupting our games when he came home angry and drunk. What about you?” He asks looking up into your eyes. His stare could almost suck the air out of your lungs. He looked gorgeous under the pale orange glow of the lights in the pub.

“Umm,” you hesitate pushing thoughts of his eyes from your mind. “I sing a bit.”

“I’d love to hear it.”

“I’m really not that good. I tend to do it while I’m doing meaningless tasks. It came from learning to play piano at a young age. My mom tried to force me to learn because she thought it would make me a normal child and not one with magical abilities.”

“I bet you’re great,” he says but he seemed distracted by something behind you. You turn to look. “Sorry, it’s just Potter and his friends. You know Miss Granger. She’s still a student. Decided to return now that we’re open again and finish her education.”

“You’re afraid they’ll see us and interrupt us aren’t you?” You ask him but he doesn’t even have to answer. The look he gives you is enough. “Say no more. I’ll distract them and you can leave. I’ll meet you at the end of the road and we can head back to the castle.”

You head over to the front counter and sit down trying to act like you just got there hoping one of the trio notices you and says hello. Luckily Hermione took the bait.

“Professor Osbourne, I wasn’t expecting to see you here. How are you?” She asked.

“Oh just fine. Can’t get enough of butterbeer. We don’t have it in the states, you know.”

“Are you here alone?” Harry speaks up and asks you. No doubt trying to see if you’d brought Severus along with you.

“Yep, all alone. Well, I should be heading back to the castle. See you in class Miss Granger. Be prepared we’re working on conjuring a patronus on Monday.” You quickly leave and head down the path where you can see Severus waiting for you. You walk in silence for some time. On the way back you walk so close to each other that your arms brush against each other with the rare chance that your hands would touch. Once back at the castle Severus turns to look at you.

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow. I hope your birthday was at least somewhat good even if you don’t celebrate.”

“Oh yeah. It was pretty nice.”

“Why is it not happy for you?”

“I lost my dad on my birthday during my third year at Ilvermorny.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he turns away. “And I got you that stupid book.”

“No, it’s okay. You didn’t know. I love it. It’s perfect, actually,” you say and you grab his arm and pull him back towards you. “I was actually hoping you could stay a little longer. I understand if you have to sleep. I get it.”

“Of course I’ll stay with you,” he said and you could see his attempt to hide a smile. The feeling of being wanted seemed new to him and seeing him happy filled you with an odd warmth. You head to your chambers. You apologize for the mess when you walk in and he tells you that it looks fine.

“It’s been one of those months where I can’t get out of my head,” you say as you push some laundry into a basket in your bathroom.

“Are you okay?” He asked and there was clear concern on his face. 

“I am now,” you say and walk past him and stop at your desk. “I hope you don’t mind but I’ve got some mail I need to read. I can make you some tea and feel free to read any of my books if you’d like.” You hurried off to make some tea and you wrapped a soft blanket from your bed around you while you waited for it to finish. You brought him a cup, lit your fireplace, and curled up next to him on the couch in your room. He was reading a book of poetry. You were leaning away from him. You didn’t want to get too close and leave the wrong impression.

“Who sent you letters?” He asked.

“My mom and a friend from home. I doubt my mom’s will be anything special,” you say as you rip it open. “She usually just-yep-sends a blank card. I guess she couldn’t be bothered to write anything this year like always.” You toss the card into your fireplace and watch it burn. 

“At least it said ‘happy birthday’ on the front with confetti,” Severus said and you laugh. You read the card your friend sent you in silence. She had also sent an old photo of the two of you together in the card. It was from your time at Ilvermorny. You missed her a lot and made a mental note to write her a letter back. You get up and lean the photo against a photo of you and your father on your desk.

“Oh, I’ve got another letter,” you say walking back to the couch and sitting next to Severus again.

“Who’s this one from?”

“I don’t know. There’s no name,” you flip the letter over as you say this and start to rip it open. “I don’t even remember receiving it.” Severus closes his book and leans up next to you to read it over your shoulder. You unfold the letter and read the first line. The letter drops from your hand in fear and you cover your mouth. 

“What is it? Who is it from?” Severus asked placing his hands on your shoulders so he could turn you so he could see your face. He saw the fear in your eyes and he knew. “It was from Theo. We have to take this to Minerva.” He picks up the letter and envelope. “You have to come with me. I’m not leaving you here alone.”

He helps you up and walks with you to McGonagall’s office. He had one arm around you the whole way. Your blanket slipped from around your shoulders and crumpled to the floor. Once at her office Severus said the password and they went up the stairs. He knocked on her door and she answered it almost instantly. 

“What is it? What’s wrong?” She could tell instantly from the look on Severus’ face. She let you in and sat you in front of her fireplace. You stare into the fire, not knowing where to look. The heat burns your eyes and they start to water.

“Theo sent a letter but I didn’t get it by owl this morning. It was on my desk,” you say in almost a deadpan voice still staring into the fire. You can feel a state of shock start to set in on you. “Read the letter, Sev. I need to know what he said.” Severus unfolds the letter and starts to read:

To my lovely Eerie,

I have missed you so. It is such a shame considering the last time I saw you you were pointing a wand at me ready to kill me. Except I see you’ve figured out that really wasn’t me at all. You were always an exceptionally bright witch. You’re just too trusting.

Anyway, I don’t have too much to say. This was just my way of letting you know that I can get to you anywhere at anytime and that school can’t stop me. You looked so lovely the other night at the Three Broomsticks but it seems you’ve replaced me. I wonder how he feels knowing I’ll kill you soon.

There’s nothing you can do to stop Nex Angeli. We’re stronger and bigger than ever and we’ll get our revenge on you for ratting us out.

Love always,  
Theo

P.S. Happy Birthday. 

“How dare he call me Eerie. That was my dad’s name for me.” You felt a hot tear roll down your cheek. 

“I will contact the ministry and the department of aurors. Severus don’t you dare leave her side,” McGonagall said and she rushed out of the office to send owls to the ministry.

“Are you alright?” Severus asked as he came and sat next to you. You were both leaning against the couch behind you staring into the fire. Once he sits next to you you allow yourself to lean into him. There against the couch, the fire from the fireplace warming your face, and Severus beside you you feel safe. Nevermind Theo could currently be in the castle or a member of Nex Angeli could be, you were here in this warmth with Severus. He wouldn’t let anything happen to you. You knew he wouldn’t. You wished you could melt away into this moment and never have to leave this room again. The second McGonagall returns to the office the warm dream was over.

“Severus, you stay with Eris. Do not leave her alone for one second until the castle has been searched thoroughly. We are moving the students to sleep in the great hall,” she says and she looks at the two of you with heavy eyes. She seemed tired and it was probably with the weight of familiarity of this situation. She brings a soft blanket over to you and you wrap it around you and Severus. “I’ll go fetch some tea and something to eat from the kitchens,” she says and hurries out of the office. No doubt it was to give you and Severus some time alone. He shifts the way he is sitting so he can face you. He looks you in the eyes and there is an urgent and intense look on his face.

“Eris, I promise you that I will protect you at all costs. I will not let him hurt you. He won’t get close enough to even get a chance. I assure you I will not let anything happen to you,” he says to you taking your hands in his. You give him a small smile and place one of your hands on his cheek. It was a little wet and for the first time you realize he had been crying and working up to saying this to you since you arrived in McGonagall’s office.

“Thank you, Severus. This isn’t your job. It shouldn’t be your job but thank you for doing it anyway. You’ve been through so much. More than anyone can imagine. You deserve a break and yet here you are thrusting yourself back into the action again.” You place your hand back into his and he squeezes it.

“You make me feel a way I haven’t in a long time. Or, honestly, it’s a feeling I’ve never felt before. I don’t know how to process it but the only thing I can do about it right now that feels right is to protect you. So that’s what I’m going to do,” he hesitates for a minute to see how you were processing what he said. His eyes scan your face for any sign that you understand but you don’t know how to respond. He continues, “Whether it’s my job or not, I want to protect you.”


	3. Letters

Monday rolled around and you debated on canceling your classes for today. They didn’t start until after eleven but you didn’t want to get out of bed. It was currently seven in the morning. You couldn’t sleep at all last night. You needed to head back to your chambers before everyone else wakes up. Especially since the students were still sleeping in the great hall and under McGonagall’s orders, you were still sleeping in Severus’ room. He wouldn’t leave you alone for longer than thirty minutes. He slept on a small couch in his chambers and gave you his bed. You had tried to tell him that you could sleep on the couch but he wouldn’t allow it. Finally, you will yourself to roll over in the bed.

“Good morning,” Severus says looking up at you from the book he was reading. “How did you sleep?”

“Fine,” you pause, unsure if you want to say what’s on your mind. You bite your lip before speaking. “You know we could always share the bed.” You stare at him judging his expression. You don’t know what he is thinking.

“Are you comfortable with that? I don’t want to impose.”

“You impose? Sev, this is your bed. This is your room. I’m the one imposing.”

He sighs and closes his book and his eyes for a moment. When he looks at you again his eyes are soft. He comes and sits next to you on the bed. You sit up so you are eye level with him. He turns to face you.

“I don’t want to do anything you’re not comfortable with,” he hesitates for a minute and his eyes dip down to your lips. “I mean, we’re not even -” he moves a fraction closer and you start to think he might kiss you. “We only just -” He is interrupted by a knock on the door. His face drops and he leans away from you, eyes closed.

“Professor, I wondered if I could ask you a question about class today.” You recognized the voice on the other side of the door as Hermione’s. Severus closed his eyes and quietly groaned before opening the door a tad, shielding you from view, to speak to her.

“Miss Granger do you have any idea how early it is? I enjoy my private hours in the morning before class. Can this wait until later?” She nods and Severus closes the door. “Sorry,” he says to you when he turns to face you but he has a disappointed look in his face when he sees you gathering your things to leave.

“I should probably head to my room. Shower, get a change of clothes,” you say approaching him and the door.

“I can walk you to your room if you’d like,” he says and hands you your cloak. You notice his hands are shaking a bit. Is he nervous? Why?

“It’s fine. I’m sure you'd really like to have some alone time before classes start today.” You smile at him but he doesn’t return the smile.

“I want to walk with you. Let me, please,” he says but he looks so sad.

“Yeah, of course,”you taking his hand in yours as you leave. You hold his hand the whole walk back. The trembling in his hands eased but when he turned to leave after arriving it started again. “Are you okay? You seem nervous.” He turns to face you. He is tense.

“What? Oh, yes, I’m fine.” He starts to turn to leave again but you rush over to him and push yourself between him and the door. He’s really close to you and you initially think back to the first night he visited your room and you found yourself in the same position you’re in now. This time, though, you have no idea why you stopped him. He stares at you, puzzled. Without thinking you reach up and take his face into your hands. Instinctively his reach up to place his on the backs of your arms. You stretch up on your toes and kiss his cheek. His skin was so soft against your lips.

“Thank you,” you say, your hands still on his face. He's still on your arms. “Thank you for all you’ve done for me. THere’s no way for me to show you how much I appreciate all you’ve done for me.”

“That was a good start,” he says. His face was flushed and a small smile had formed on his lips. “You should get ready for your classes. We can talk some more later.” He leaves with a smile still on his face. You’re left wondering why you didn’t.

After getting ready you head down to breakfast and you and Severus immediately make eyes contact and you both blush. McGonagall notices. She motions for you to come to speak to her. When you walk over to her she stands to speak to you.

“What happened between you and Severus? I saw the way you two were looking at each other,” She says to you in a whisper and a hopeful look on her face.

“Umm,” you hesitate and stumble over your words in the next sentence. “ think that just spending the past couple nights together has just been,” you pause trying to find the right word.

“A lot?” She finished for you. You nod. “Is that all?”

“Well, I felt bad that he was always sleeping on the couch and it is his room so I said we could share the bed.” You were a little uncomfortable sharing this with McGonagall. You shuffle your weight from one foot to the other. You debated telling her about kissing his cheek.

“Oh,” she glances at Severus and he raises an eyebrow in curiosity. At her. She turns back to you. “What did he say to that?”

“Just that he didn’t want to do anything that would make me uncomfortable,” you say looking at your feet. “Which is fine. I think I’m just going to stay in my room again.” McGonagall nods in agreement and you head to your seat. You don’t look at Severus when you sit down.

“What were you and Minerva talking about?” He asked. You could feel his eyes on you.

“Just about me moving back into my chambers,” you say without looking at him. You don’t know if you could take the hurt in his eyes. “I just thought you’d like to sleep in your own bed tonight.”

He shifts in his seat and turns to speak to you but as he does an owl comes and drops mail into your lap. Unusual as you don’t normally receive mail. You quickly look through the names on the envelopes to make sure none are from Theo.

“None of those are from Theo, right?” Severus asks. You both had thought the same thing.

“Yeah, it’s just one from my mom and two from a friend back home.” You rip open the first letter from your friend.

Hey E!

I know I just wrote you for your birthday but I thought you’d like a plain old letter to say I miss you every once in a while. I hope Hogwarts is treating you well. I heard there were some problems with Theo. I’m so sorry. I know you left to escape that and it just seemed to follow you there. I still don’t understand how he’s alive. You’ll have to tell me all the details when we see each other again. Are you coming home for Thanksgiving? I hope so. Anyway, I miss you. Write me back when you get the chance.  
Love,  
V

P.S. Let me know if you meet someone!

She had drawn a face winking at the end of the letter. You set the letter down and pick up the second letter she sent you. They appeared to be sent on the same day.

Hey E!  
Found this old picture of us. Thought you’d like to have a copy.  
Love,  
V  
P.S. Seriously, let me know if you meet someone. I want to know all about him.

You set that one down and look at the picture, smiling. The picture is moving. You and her are sitting on a blanket in the grass in front of the courtyard at Ilvermorny. Some of your other friends are in the picture too. Theo is also there but this was taken back at school before you knew what kind of person he was. He’s not looking at the camera. You’re all laughing except him. V has her head thrown back laughing. Her fro bounces with her laughter.

“Who is V?” Severus asks interrupting your memory.

“Valerie. She was my best friend back in the states. I miss her.” Before he can respond you pick up the letter from your mom. There’s an index card that just reads; are you coming home for Thanksgiving. You set it down.

“You should go visit,” Severus says. “I can teach your classes those days.”

“Are you sure?” You turn to him. You give him a grateful look.

“Of course. I don’t mind,” he says to you. You jump up to let McGonagall know. When you sit down he looks into your eyes. “I knew it would make you happy.” You smile at him when he says this.

You hear the clock tower chime and you’re pulled away from Severus’ gaze. You had to head to class. Before rushing off you kiss him on his cheek again. Completely ignoring all the students and staff who just witnessed it. You rush off to your class.

You enter the classroom. You and Severus had magicked away the desks and chairs yesterday in preparation for today. The students were all huddled in small groups discussing what would happen in class today. Everyone gets quiet when you walk in.

“Okay so today we are going to work on the patronus charm. You’re all so smart so I think you should be able to handle it.” You take out your wand. “Alright, get into three lines in front of me,” You pause to let them get there. “Everyone good? Okay, wands away and repeat after me. We’re going to just work on the incantation first. Repeat after me; expecto patronum.”

The class chants it back to you. You have them say it a few more times. Next you have them work on wand movements. Severus sneaks into the back of the room to watch the class. He nods at you to say you’re doing good.

“Great guys! Okay, now, this is the hard part. I need you guys to think of your happiest memory. It needs to be strong,” you say pacing around the room. “If you don’t think yours is strong enough ask me about it. I’ll help you out.”

“What is your memory?” A Gryffindor asked.

“It’s a memory of my father reading to me when I was a kid,” you say smiling. You head over to a couple students who need help. “Everyone ready to see what it looks like?” You asked and everyone shouts yes. “Expecto patronum!” You chant and a silver-white light comes out of your wand. The stream eventually turns into a fox. The students “oooooo” at the sight of it. The fox circles around you for a bit before running off towards Severus but disappears before it gets there. “Ready to give it a go?” Everyone nods. “Alright. First people in line step up. Make sure you concentrate,” you say. The students start trying to produce a patronus. “Remember it’s okay if you don’t produce a full corporeal patronus today. It takes time.”

You spend the next hour helping every student produce some form of a patronus charm. Some even produced a full corporeal patronus. Everyone leaves and you can’t help but smile. So far this was your favorite moment teaching. Seeing the students excited and happy to see their patronus. Severus walks up to you clapping. 

“You really seemed to be enjoying yourself,” Severu said. You nod.

“This might be my favorite teaching moment so far. Seeing their faces light up when they finally got it. Whether it was corporeal or not. This is why I wanted to teach. Yes, to educate but this class has literally been magical.” Severus nods in understanding. After a while he leaves to teach his class.

Just before your next class starts you produce your patronus. The fox runs about the room for a bit. You watch it, following it’s every move with your eyes. It finally settles down and curls up next to you. The students enter the room and immediately start whispering to each other about it.

“Can you make three even lines in front of me, please?” you ask the students and they follow. “Today we are going to learn about the patronus charm.”

This class went just like the last and you felt the same warm feeling you had previously. You had a nice long break before your next class so you return to your room to respond to your mom’s and your friends letters. Your mom’s letter included only the phrase; I’m coming. You sealed it and set it aside to be sent. You wrote a long letter to your friend. You felt like you had so much to say to her.

Hey V!

I miss you and the gang so much. How is everyone? I can’t wait until we can all hand out again. It’s been so long.

Hogwarts has been great. I can’t even begin to tell you how amazing it has been. The teachers have been so nice. The school itself is beautiful. The food would be your favorite part. It’s so good. I taught the students the patronus charm today. You should have seen them V! It was amazing. They all did so well.

I figured you had heard about Theo. I don’t feel comfortable talking about it in a letter but I’ll tell you about it soon.

Yes, I am coming home for Thanksgiving. I talked to the headmistress and she’s fine with it. One of the other professors is going to take over my classes for me those two days I’ll miss.

You pause your writing for a minute. You debate telling her about Severus. You know once you get home there's no way you can avoid discussing him. Especially when he is directly involved in every Theo situation. You lean back in your chair and stare upa up at the ceiling. You sigh and start writing again.

There is one teacher who has been a great help. He was there both nights that Theo made contact. His name is Severus. He’s a little off putting at first because he’s very closed off but once you get to know him he’s very kind. He’s been a great help. I don’t know what I would have done without him. I’m so scared, V, I feel like I could fall for him.

Eris


	4. Accepting

October passed in a flash. It was the day before Halloween before you heard from Valerie again. She had responded to your last letter a week after you sent it asking more about Severus. You sent her a second letter telling her about him. About Lily, the story McGonagall told you, things he’s told you, and what you know about him fighting against Voldemort. You had been waiting for her to respond to that letter. The wait felt like an eternity but once it finally arrived you were afraid to open it. The anticipation of Valerie’s response was more than you could bear but the fear was worse. You had admitted to her the one thing that you were avoiding feeling. You admitted that you had started to develop deeper feelings for Severus. That scared you. You had no intention of falling in love again. Theo had ruined the thought for you. It’s not like I’m in love with Severus, you think. He is just so kind you don’t think he’d ever hurt you, but he’s been hurt in the past too. Would he even be interested in you? When the mail arrived that Friday morning you just sit with the letter in your hands. Severus sat down next to you. He chuckled to himself before turning to face you.

“Are you going to open it or just continue to stare at it?” Severus asked you jokingly.

“I’ll probably read it a little later,” you say stuffing the letter in a pocket in your robe. You definitely didn’t want to read it in front of Severus.

“What are your plans for class today?” Severus asked you as he turns back to his food.

“Just going to teach some defensive spells today. What about you, Sev? What potion will you be brewing today?”

“Well,” he said hiding a smile when answering. He’s clearly glad that you’ve shown interest. “Today we are brewing Draught of Peace.”

“Oooooh, sounds difficult,” you say.

“It is but I,” he pauses. “I added it to the curriculum because of you. Your anxiety you’ve been dealing with gave me the idea to teach it. I hadn’t taught it in a while.” 

“Oh, that’s nice,” you say and start to clean up your plate. You didn’t know how to respond to that. You were flattered of course but you hadn’t thought that maybe he cared that much. You felt awkward. “Well, I should get going. Have a good class, Sev.” He says a small “you too” while you walk off. 

Your classes felt like they took forever to end today. You didn’t necessarily want them to end but Valerie’s letter was weighing heavy on your mind. The second your last class left you didn’t hesitate to yank the letter out of your pocket. You didn’t even bother to return to your office or sit down. You just stood rooted to the spot you were standing in the center of your classroom.

Eris,

I can’t even begin to understand exactly how you must be feeling right now. I know you’re scared to be hurt again but he’s got a rough past too. He’s probably just as scared as you. He seems nice E! I’m glad you’ve got someone there. I was so worried you wouldn’t make friends because you’re so shy. Although it seems like the headmistress was trying to make sure that didn’t happen. You said Severus and her were close? She probably knows he’s missing that deeper connection.

You asked me for my opinion on what I think you should do. I think you should do what’s going to make you happy. Forget about your past for a minute and think if this would make you happy. You’re not going to like that answer so yes, I think you should go for it. Take it slow but let him know you’re interested. Do it subtly. Being super straightforward and upfront might scare him. Talk to the headmistress about it. She knows him better than anyone it seems. I hope talking this out helped you. Make sure you update me.

Love you,  
V

You stare at the letter for a minute after reading. When you finally look up from the letter you see Severus standing in the doorway. You can feel your cheeks flush.

“Do you mind if I come in?” He asks but before you can answer he comes rushing up to you when he sees the letter in your hands. There’s concern on his face. “Are you alright? What’s wrong?”

”I’m fine,” you say shaking your head trying to rid yourself of your nerves. “It’s just from Valerie.”

“Okay,” he says and there is a rush of calm that washes over him. “You’ve been talking quite a lot. I’m sure you miss her.”

“I do,” you say and stand there staring at him in silence for a minute. “Would you like to take a walk? Go get some fresh air?”

“That sounds nice,” he says and follows you out. You walk in silence until you reach the edge of the lake. It was a beautiful view. “So what did Valerie have to say?”

You freeze. He’s only trying to make conversation but the letter was about him. You couldn’t just tell him what she said. You turn to look at him and you feel your cheeks flush again. You can tell he notices and you can see the corners of his mouth twitch up.  
“That’s the second time you’ve blushed around me today,” he says playfully but his eyes squint at you just a bit.

“Well, it’s because we were talking about you.”

“I figured as much. What were you saying?”

“Well, she was just concerned I was spending all my time alone. She wants me to make meaningful connections,” you pause for a second and meet his eyes. “So I told her about you.”

“You told her about me,” he said repeating you. He breaks eye contact long enough to scan your face for any sign of a lie or joke. They eventually return to your eyes before speaking again. “You told her we made a meaningful connection?”

“Yes, is that okay?”

“Of course,” he says walking up to you closing the distance between you and you tense up. He places his hands on either side of your face. Your hands reach up to his sides. A couple of Slytherin girls quickly walk past giggling. You both immediately let go. He apologizes to you.

“Don’t,” you say to him. “Don’t apologize. It’s okay to act on emotions, Sev. Anyway, she wants to meet you.”

He looks at the ground. “I’ll work on that. PDA is just a bit much for me. I don’t know why I did that,” he stops and looks back up at you. “ I was just overcome with emotion, I guess,” he says and your cheeks flush. “There you go again.” You both laugh. “Yes, I’d like to meet her too. I’m glad that I’m important enough to you that you write home to your friends about me. I’m very flattered. If only I had someone I could write about you to.” You stand there on the edge of the lake talking for some time. It started to get dark and you finally headed inside for dinner.

“You can’t tell me that you don’t talk to McGonagall about me,” you say, returning to the previous conversation. His cheeks flush this time. “Hah! Now it’s your turn!”

“I do talk about you with her,” he pauses to take a sip of pumpkin juice. “But it’s purely academic.”

“Oh, I doubt that very much.”

“It’s all true,” he says confidently.

“Oh, shall I go and ask her then?” you say sitting down your napkin and getting up to ask her. He pulls you down with a panicked expression.

“Don’t,” he says quietly. “I’m only joking.”

“Yeah, of course,” you say and turn to your food. You sit in silence for the rest of dinner. Why didn’t he want you to speak with her? Did he say something to her that he didn’t want you to know? Severus headed to bed early that night. After he left you got up to speak to McGonagall.

“What can I help you with, Miss Osbourne?” She asks smiling up at you. You sit down next to her.

“I needed to ask you about something. It’s kind of personal.” She nods. You explain everything to her that you and Valerie had discussed. When you had finished the Great Hall was empty.

“Does Severus know you feel this way?”

“I haven’t said anything to him explicitly but he’s not stupid. I’m sure he can put certain situations together. Especially after today. I just don’t want to go for something and get hurt. Do you think those feelings could potentially be returned?” You stare at her. Your mind races a mile a minute with every possible answer she could give. She has the most sincere look on her face.

“Eris, you need to understand that Severus has been through a lot, and at such a young age too. He’s dealt with so much of it internally. He doesn't let anyone in. I don’t even know what all he’s been through or what he’s feeling. He is a very private man. He doesn’t let people in very often,” she says and you feel a pit in your stomach. This sounded an awful lot like a no. “That being said I’ve seen him act more comfortable and open with you than anyone in a long time. I will not break his trust by revealing personal conversations but I do think that he could potentially be open to taking the relationship further. You just have to be patient with him.” The conversation was interrupted by the sound of footsteps approaching. The hall doors open and you both turn to look. You see Severus standing there in the entrance to the Great Hall. He looked disappointed. He turned to leave and you stood to thank McGonagall and rushed after him.

“Severus! Severus!” You call after him but he keeps walking away from you. It isn’t until you reach an isolated side hall that he finally turns to look at you. You wished he hadn’t. The hurt in his eyes was almost too much to bear. “Please, talk to me. Let me explain.”

“Why? Why would you speak to her when I explicitly asked you not to,” he says and his voice was almost a whisper. You knew he had to be angry.

“Let me explain,” you start to say but your words are caught in your throat as you try to fight back tears.

“What explanation could you possibly have?” He was stern.

“Yes, we were talking about you but I didn’t ask her about you. I didn’t ask about your conversations with her. Neither of us wants to betray your trust.” You hope that was a good enough explanation because there wasn’t much else you could say without revealing what you were talking about and that’s the last thing you want to do.

“So what were you talking about then?”

“I think I’m allowed my privacy just as much as you,” you say and his face drops and he just sort of nods like he can’t believe what you just said.

“Alright. I’m sorry,” he says and he turns to walk away.

“I didn’t ask her to tell me what you said about me. I just had some personal things to discuss with her,” you say and he turns to look at you. He doesn’t close the gap between you.

“And you can’t tell me what it is you were discussing?”

“It had to do with you.”

“Yeah, you said that.”

“I’m sorry, Sev. I just can’t tell you yet. I hope you understand.”

“I do,” he says and turns and walks away. You feel a couple of tears fall down your cheeks. You return to your room. It felt like your walls were closing in on you. Why did he act so extreme tonight? What caused that leap? You had never seen him like that. You lay face down on your bed and fall asleep. You don’t even bother getting undressed.


	5. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eris returns home for Thanksgiving and is in for a bit of a surprise or two.

Weeks had passed since that night. You and Severus were speaking still. You were surprised when that following morning he spoke to you like nothing had happened. You’ve carried on like that since. Now, weeks later, you find yourself feeling weird that you never addressed it. You wouldn’t worry about it today though as after class you were returning home for Thanksgiving. You will be gone for almost four days and you didn’t want to leave on a sour note. Your last class leaves wishing you a safe trip as Severus comes into the rooms. The class grows silent and rushes out. You stop yourself from laughing.

“I will always admire your ability to clear a room,” you say and he gives you a stern but joking look.

“You know, I did come here to offer to go with you to the airport so you didn’t have to travel alone but,” he turns and puts his hand on the door. “I can just leave I guess.”

“No, no, no,” you say and you rush up to stop him. You place your hand on his and you both jump at the touch. You pull away. “I would love for you to go with me. Sucks you won’t be able to get on the plane with me. That part of the trip will be so lonely.” You can feel your heart drop at the thought. “Oh, wait,” you say and rush off to your room. You left Severus there looking confused until you came back out with a polaroid camera. You snap a picture of him. “I wanted to take some pictures to bring back and show Valerie and my friends.”

“And so you’ve taken one of me?”

“Well, yes. Valerie and I have talked about you. She wants to know what you look like,” you say put the camera up to your face to look through the hole. “And maybe I need something to look at when I miss you. Now smile!”

“No, I have a reputation to uphold. What if someone saw me smile?” You mock him in a deep tone that sounded nothing like him but it got a good laugh out of him anyway. You snapped the picture.

“Gotcha!” You say and immediately pull the picture away so he can’t take it.

“Let me see this thing,” he says and turns the camera towards you. You strike an over-the-top obnoxious pose. He laughs and takes the picture. Once it develops he starts laughing again. “Oh I’ll treasure this forever,” he says and slips it into his pocket.

He takes you around the school to get pictures of certain things and with the professors. When you took a picture with McGonagall she takes the camera and turns it on you and Severus. He actually pulls you close to him, you can feel your cheeks flush when he places his hands on your waist. McGonagall smiles and makes an “aww” sound and you laugh to make yourself feel less anxious.

“So, do you have all of your pictures?” he turns to say to you after the picture was taken

“Yeah. I’ve just got to grab my bags and I’ll be ready,” you say and you both head to your room. After gathering up your things you head to Hogsmeade Station to board the train. For most of the ride, you discussed how the class should go the two days you’re gone.

“Don’t traumatize my students too much,” you say and he chuckles.

“I’ll try not to,” he says just as the train stops. You have to take a taxi to get to the airport. It’s a silent ride. Once at the airport Severus grabs your bags for you. Inside there is a short wait before you can board your plane so you sit and talk for a bit.

“I’m going to miss these talks with you, Sev. I’m going to miss our walks to the lake.”

“I am too. I’ll have to find another professor to go with.”

“Don’t you dare.”

“Maybe Professor Sprout?” He says and you both start to laugh. The laughter subsides when it’s announced that you can board the plane now. Severus looks sad when you stand and turn to tell him bye.

“Don’t forget about me, yeah?” You say to him but he doesn’t respond. He just stares at you with a sad expression. “Sev, are you okay? You ask and he moves forward and holds you in a tight hug. It felt like it lasted forever. The second he pulled away you could tell that he was more for him than you. He leans down, his face inches from yours to whisper in your ear.

“Don’t worry, I won’t forget about you,” he whispers and kisses your cheek. His lips were soft. He leaned his forehead against yours. His mouth was so close to yours. You could feel his breath on your face. You look up into his eyes and tried to read what he was thinking. He lingered there for a minute but pulled away. You say your goodbyes and you board the plane. You sleep most of the flight.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You wake up about thirty minutes before you land. In a small bag, you had with you are the pictures you had taken at Hogwarts, You take them out and look through them. You start with the two you took of Severus. You flip through them until you get to the picture McGonagall took of you and Severus. This was your first time seeing it.

You felt a lump in your throat like you might cry. You see yourself mid-laugh blushing. You see Severus’ hand tightly on your waist. When you look at him he isn’t looking at the camera. He’s looking at you. He’s smiling. The way he’s looking at you makes your heart melt. You touch your cheek where he kissed you. You put the pictures away for the rest of the flight putting the pictures of Severus in the back.

After landing and getting off the plane you start to look for your friends. They were supposed to meet you here when you landed. You wait another twenty minutes and they finally arrive. They all come running up to you.

“Sorry, we’re late,” Valerie exclaimed pulling you into a hug. “We got stuck in traffic. It’s monstrous out there and you know no-maj’s can’t drive worth a damn.”

You step to look at all your friends. Valerie had traded in her fro for long braids and she was still in her suit from working at MACUSA. Two of your other friends were with her. There was Abby, who was a quidditch player. She had very long blonde hair as straight as a pencil and the brightest blue eyes. Next to her was Brandon. He had long brown hair. He had been Theo’s best friend and ever since everything happened your relationship had been weird. You can only imagine what it would be like now.

“You must be starving,” Abby says. “We made reservations at your favorite restaurant. We need to get all caught up.”

You leave and head to a no-maj restaurant. You let Valerie, Abby, and Brandon fill you in on all that you missed here before you told them about Hogwarts, Severus, and eventually Theo. After telling them about Hogwarts and classes and the other professors the topic of Theo came up. You told them everything that happened. When you finish everyone was silent.

“I just can’t believe he would do this,” Brandon says.

“I can’t believe he’s still alive,” Valerie says and you can see Brandon look uncomfortable. “I saw what happened during that fight. I saw you kill him.” You all sit in silence unsure of what to say. Abby breaks the silence.

“On a lighter note, Valerie tells us you have a man?” She smiles.

“Oh, no,” you say blushing and stumbling over your words. “He’s not- we’re not together.”

“They’re both interested in each other but neither will get up the courage to ask the other out,” Valerie says for you. You all laugh.

“Thanks for that,” you say grabbing your bag. “I do have some pictures.” They all scoot closer together so they can huddle around you to see the pictures. You go through them one by one. Your classroom, your office, the professors. You stop with each picture to explain them and then enchant them so they move. You get to the picture you took with McGonagall and you hear Valerie mumble something that sounded like “so that’s her.”

Finally, you get to your pictures of Severus. The first picture is him looking stern and confused. You stare at it for a minute. He was very handsome you had to admit. He had this little crease between his brows and when he is concentrated or frustrated and you thought it was adorable. The second picture is him laughing. He was so beautiful when he laughed. He clearly didn’t do it a lot but you loved it when he did. The final picture is of him looking at you. Valerie and Abby both let out a simultaneous “awww” when they see the picture.

“Look at the way he looks at you!” Valerie says.

“He’s so handsome,” Abby says. “He’s, like, dark and mysterious.”

“Tell us about him,” Brandon says.

You tell them everything. Valerie interrupted every once in a while with things you had told her. Abby had tears in her eyes when you told them about Lily.

“Wow,” Brandon says. “That’s rough. You know he blames himself.”

“He was apparently really close to death,” you say staring off into the distance. “I don’t know a lot about it. I didn’t ask him but he almost died during the battle for Hogwarts.” Everyone is silent. You can feel tears fill your eyes. “I’m glad he didn’t,” you say and you pick up the picture of him looking at you. You had enchanted it to move. You scan every inch of the image. You, mid-laugh, the small smile on his face, his eyes resting on you, his hair resting lightly on his shoulder and you notice that it had gotten a bit longer since you met him. Finally, you look at his hand on your waist. You felt your heart jump at the sight. For the first time, you realize how much you miss him. You wished he could be here with you.

“You miss him, don’t you?” Valerie asked you. You nod. “Well, let’s go to the store, get some snacks, and head to your mom’s place and we’ll stay up all night and watch movies. Let’s try and cheer you up.” You nod and the four of you get up to leave. When you arrive at the store you grab a blender and some things to try and make homemade butterbeer.

“What’s all that for?” Brandon asks.

“To make us only the best drink to ever exist,” you say and you head to check out with things to make butterbeer and a bag of bugles and squeeze caramel sauce to drizzle on them.

“You eat the weirdest snacks,” you can hear Severus say in your head and you miss him more. Butterbeer was your thing to do together and now you’re sharing it with your friends. Would he be hurt by that?

Once you make it home you hesitate to knock on the door. You and your mother were never close but she was your mom. You’re sure she missed you. You knock and after a few minutes, she opens the door. There is a small smile on her face. You set your bags down and she pulls you into a tight hug and you realize she might miss you more than she is letting on.

“It’s so nice to see you,” she says and looks past you. “All of you. The house has been so empty. Come on it. Eris, I want to hear all about Hogwarts and what it’s like.”

Everyone goes into the kitchen while you and your mom sit in the living room and talk.

“I didn’t think you cared all that much for all this magic stuff,” you say to her after talking to her about your classes. She had shown genuine interest in them.

“I realized I haven’t been the most supportive. It’s not like you asked to do magic.”

“Thanks, mom. I appreciate that.” You look through the pictures together trying to avoid showing her the picture of Severus looking at you when you show her the other two you took of him.

“Don’t let her skip that last picture, Ms. Osbourne. Look at the way that man looks at her. He’s so in love,” Valerie says putting a chip in her mouth. You shoot her a look and hand your mom the last picture.

“He’s so handsome, dear,” she says. “Are you dating?” You blush when she asks this.

“Not yet,” says Valerie. “But if I have anything to do with it they will be soon.”

“What does that mean?” You say standing. She just winks at you. “Valerie!” You grab the pictures from your mom and head into the kitchen after Valerie. 

“I just mean that maybe I’ve been sending letters to someone else at Hogwarts.” You feel the room start to spin around you and you have to sit down in one of the dining chairs and lay your head in your arms on the table. “Are you okay?” Valerie says and she sits next to you and places a hand on your back. When you lift your head there are tears in your eyes.

“I really thought that he was going to be standing in this kitchen when I came in here. Is that dumb?” You asked looking at everyone in the room. They shake their heads.

“Of course not,” Abby says sitting on the other side of you. “You miss him. It’s understandable, sweetheart.”

“Come here, let’s make those drinks you were talking about. I’m sure that will make you feel better.” You nod and move over to the counter to set up the blender. You reach into one of your bags from Hogwarts and pull out a recipe from Madam Rosmerta and a special ingredient. Both Severus has somehow managed to get her to give him so he could surprise you with it. You follow her instructions and make each of you a butterbeer. You grab some glasses for each of you and fill them.

“Bottoms up!” Abby says and you all take a sip. It’s nice and warm and tastes almost the same as hers. “Wow Eris. This is really good.” Abby and Brandon agree with her. You stand around in the kitchen laughing and joking for a while until the phone rings in the living room. Your mom’s head peeps around the corner with the cordless phone.

“Eris it’s for you,” she says and extends her arm out to you. You’re confused who it could be. The only people who could call you are here with you. For a minute you’re scared it’s Theo but you see Valerie and Abby smiling wide. You put the phone up to your ear.

“Hello?” 

“Hey there,” you hear Severus’ voice say. You put your hand over your mouth. A tear runs down your cheek. “How was your flight?”

“Uh, fine. It was fine,” you say stumbling over your words and you head out through the backdoor in the kitchen and sit on the back porch to talk to him in private. “How are you calling me?”

“I might have taken a small trip home just so I could use a phone. Valerie gave me the number to call. I really just wanted to make sure you made it home okay.” He paused for a minute before he resumed. “It was so hard letting you go knowing that anything could happen to you and I won’t be there to stop it.” You knew he meant Theo.

“I’ll be okay, Sev. I promise.”

“You can’t promise that. At least put some protective spells over the house. Please.”

“Yeah, of course. I will do anything to ease your mind.”

“I’m sorry for being so intense. I just want to always be there to protect you. I don’t know what I would do if anything happened to you,” he says and you melt. You feel the same about him. You can’t imagine what your life would be like now had he died during the battle for Hogwarts. You try not to think about it.

“It’s fine, honestly. I’m flattered you care so much for me. I don’t know why,” you say and you can’t get the rest of the words out. You don’t think you’re deserving of it. 

“Don’t you dare think you’re not worth it. I swear if you think that I will come down there right now and prove you wrong.”

“I’m not worth it.”

You hear some scuffling on the phone and you think he’s dropped the phone. You hear him scramble to pick it back up.

“You said that just to see if I’d actually come down there.”

“Maybe,” you say and bite your lip. “I miss you.”

“I’ve been looking at your picture all night.”

“So have-”

“I think I’m falling for you, Eris.”


	6. Thanksgiving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eris tries to spend a calm weekend home for Thanksgiving but not all goes according to plan.

“Eris?” This was the second time he had said your name and yet, you still sat in silence. “Please, say something.” The desperation in his voice made you snap out of it.

“I’m here. I’m sorry,” you say and your voice is shaking.

“Did I- did I say something wrong?” You could tell he was scared. It probably was hard for him to say that.

“No! No, of course not, Sev. You didn’t say anything wrong.”

“When you didn’t respond I just thought-”

“You just took me by surprise,” you say.

“In a good way?”

“Yes, in the best way,” you say and you can almost hear him sigh in relief. “I know you’re going to ask and yes, I feel the same way, Sev.” It was his turn to be silent. When he finally spoke again he sounded happy for once.

“You don’t know how hard it was to not kiss you today before you left.”

“You should have just done it.”

“I didn’t know if you felt the same.”

“Are you sure it wasn’t obvious?” You ask and he laughs.

“You’re right. I’ll make up for it when you return.” Your cheeks flush when he says this. “It’s late. I’m sure you need to sleep.”

“I wish you were here,” you say in a whisper but he doesn’t hear you.

“Goodnight, Osbourne.”

“Goodnight, Severus,” you say and sit on the porch for a minute, the phone hanging limply in your hand.

“Hey, you all good?” Valerie asks and comes to sit next to you.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you say and try to discreetly wipe away tears. You know Valerie saw but she doesn’t say anything. “Can you help me put some protective spells over the house?”

“Of course. It’s probably better to be safe than sorry.”

After returning inside Abby and Brandon tell you goodbye and you and Valerie head up to what was once your room when you lived there. You stay up a little while longer to talk. Mostly about Theo. The conversation made you a little anxious but Valerie needed to know as much information as possible since she worked as an auror in the US.

“You don’t think he’d attack here do you?” Valerie asked and you could tell she was anxious as well.

“I don’t know. That’s why I had us put up those spells.”

“You said he’s grown out his hair really long?”

“Yeah, I think he may have dyed it darker too. It was so dark that night I couldn’t tell. He had a beard too and he was so frail,” you say to her. The image of him from that night popped into your mind. Then you saw him for who he used to be before all this happened. Then the look on his face when you had thought you killed him.

“Okay, I can see this is causing you some distress. Let’s talk about Severus. What did he have to say on the phone?”

“He said he’s falling for me,” you say in an almost whisper. You look up at Valerie and she smiles.

“I’m so happy for you. You deserve this. You both do.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You woke at five in the morning to strange sounds downstairs. You grab your wand from atop your dresser and follow the noise downstairs. You light the tip of your wand in hopes that you can see what is happening without turning on the lights. 

“Mom?” You call as you reach the bottom step. “Mom is that you?”

A light flickers on in the living room and you whisper nox. When you round the corner from the hall to the living room you are shocked by why you see. Theo and three other men in black with masks standing in the center of the room. You mother is tied to a chair in the corner with a silencing charm preventing her from speaking.

“What are you doing here?”

“Oh, didn’t you know that protective spells around the house don’t help with those who are already inside?” Theo says and your body is filled with chills. How long had he been here?

“How did you get in here?”

“Our old pal Brandon was a big help.”

“What’s going on? I heard voices,” Valerie says and she pulls out her wand when she sees Theo. 

“I sent an owl to that professor of yours. Imagine how helpless he must feel knowing you’re here and he can’t save you,” Theo says and you felt your heart drop. Severus must be out of his mind with anger and worry. “I do intend to kill you tonight, Eerie. There’s nothing any of you can do about it.”

“Not if I stop you first! Expelliarmus!” Valerie shouts but Theo is faster.

“Protego!” He shouts and blocks her spell. “You were always the weakest of us all. Petrificus Totalus!” Valerie freezes and falls to the ground with a thud. You grab her body and pull her out of the way. You start to search through her pockets for a small coin. It was assigned to all aurors in case of an emergency. Once you find it you flip it three times in your hand. You slip it back into Valerie’s pocket. Someone should get the alert.

“Theo! Your fight is with me,” you shout from where you’re hiding. “Legilimens,” you whisper under your voice. 

You attempt to see where Theo is and what he is planning. He was always good at occulumency so you knew getting through would be tough. You couldn’t get a clear image but they seemed to still be in the same spot in the living room. You apparate into the living room and disarm the three men with Theo. You snap their wands when you catch them. You turn your wand on Theo next but he’s faster.

“Crucio!” He shouts and you fall to the ground writhing in pain. You try to fight it. “Crucio!” A wave of pain rushes through you and you scream. Theo crouches down next to you and he takes your face in his. “If only he was here to hear you scream. I’ll let you go this time but just know I will come back to kill you,” he says and stands above you. You try to stand but he kicks you hard in the stomach. “Now be a good girl and watch,” he turns away from you. The next thing you see is a green light shoot from his wand and your mom slump in the chair across from you. You scream. He turns back to you, a sinister smile on his face. “It was so good to see you again. Here’s one more thing to remember me by,” he leans down and forces a kiss on your cheek before using the cruciatus curse on you again and disapparating during a fit of laughter. The pain is so intense and you fight back another scream. You feel lightheaded and the room starts to spin and fade.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Severus returned to his quarters at Hogwarts after his phone call with Eris. It had been a long day for him. It was emotionally draining. He hadn’t planned on divulging all that information to her but at that moment he couldn’t control himself. He sat down at the desk in his quarters and let out a deep breath. He looks down at his desk. There was a letter on it. It wasn’t addressed from anyone. He knew the second he saw it that it was from Theo. It was just like the letter he sent Eris. Severus ripped it open hastily. His hands were shaking and he cut his hand on the letter. 

Professor, I hear you’ve got a thing for my ex-fiance. That’s too bad. By the time you read this, she’ll already be dead. You shouldn’t have let her go off on her own. Anything could happen to her then. I’ll torture her a bit before I kill her. I wonder if you’ll be able to hear her screams? I can only imagine the agony and mental torture you must be going through reading this letter knowing there’s nothing you can do to save her. 

Severus slammed his fists on his desk shouting. Tears prick the corners of his eyes. What could he do? Could he make to the US in time to save her? Even if he did he had no idea where she was currently. What if this was a trap? A way to lure him out of the castle? Panic rose up in his chest and a wave of flashbacks resurfaced before him. The years as a Death Eater, a spy or not, came rushing back to him. The night he almost died lingered on his mind the longest. Instinctively his hand reached up to the scars on his neck.

“Severus!” McGonagall says. He looked up and saw her come rushing towards him. She dropped down onto her knees in front of him and Severus just realized he had fallen to the ground on his knees. “I heard you yell. I wanted to make sure you were alright. Your door was open-”

“Eris is in trouble. We have to help her,” he says and he thrusts the letter into McGonagall’s hands. It had been crumpled tightly in his fist. She uncrumpled it and read. The look on her face said it all. “I will kill him if any harm comes to her. I swear to it, Minerva. Nothing will stop me,” he says clenching his fists. Tears push themselves from his eyes. “I won’t let her get taken away from me too.”

“Don’t worry, Severus. I will contact the Ministry and have them get in touch with MACUSA. We will get to her first. I promise,” McGonagall says to reassure him and places a hand on his shoulder. She gets up to leave and contact the Ministry and leaves Severus to himself in his quarters.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The images of your mom’s limp, lifeless body flashed before you. Then there’s the pain you felt and Theo’s laughter and your screams. The last thing you remember is Severus and him saying he’s falling for you. You allow his voice to play over and over in your head.

Suddenly you jerk up, eyes wide open, and breathing heavily. At first, you thought you were dreaming. That all the images running through your head wasn’t real but once you became aware of your surroundings you knew it wasn’t a dream. Those images were real.

You scan the room, you were in a hospital bed. When you first sat up several nurses came rushing over to you to try and get you to lay back down. You allow them to but they sit you up some so you can see. Your room was full of ministry workers. Valerie was off to the side talking to an auror you recognized when you used to be an auror. Valerie broke away from him when she saw you were awake. She came over to you with a sad look on her face.

“How’s your head?” She asks you and you look at her confused.

“My head?”

“You hit your head when you fell after Theo used the cruciatus curse on you,” she says and you reach up to the back of your head and feel staples. “You must have been in so much pain from the cure you didn’t notice. You lost a lot of blood.” Valerie turned to look at some of the ministry workers before turning back to you. “I told them to wait until you were awake to show up but they were being impatient. Apparently, we weren’t the only ones he visited last night.”

“Have you heard from Severus? He said he sent him a letter.”

“No, I haven’t heard from him," Valerie said brushing your hair out of your face.

“He probably thinks I’m dead,” you say and you fight back tears.

“We did receive an alert from the ministry for magic. They said they had received the alert from Hogwarts and were transmitting it to us. He did what he could to try and save you.”

“I couldn’t save my mom,” you say and clench your fists.

“No, Eris, that isn’t your fault.”

“I didn’t even try and stop him.”

“There’s nothing you could have done, Miss Osbourne. You were in too much pain to even move,” said the familiar wizard as he walked up to you. “Are you feeling up to talking about what happened?”

You nod but you were hesitant to relive what happened. When you were finished you look at Valerie.

“He said Brandon helped him.”

“Brandon?”

“Yes, he could have been under the imperius curse but I don’t know. Theo was his best friend,” you say and try to adjust the way you are sitting but you wince in pain. A nurse comes into the room.

“You’re going to be in some pain for the next two weeks or so, Miss Osbourne. Cruciatus curse and hitting your head? You’re lucky you’re not in more pain or even a coma,” she says as she’s checking your blood pressure and other things. “You’re free to go,” she says and leaves the room.

“I’m ready to go. Hospitals make me think of my dad,” you say and try to get up but slam back down onto the bed and groan in pain.

“Oh, I forgot,” said the nurse as she returned to the room with a wheelchair. “This is for you. It’ll help you get around easier.” You roll your eyes at the thought and allow them to help you into the chair.

“I hope I don’t have to be in this too long,” you say and Valerie wheeled you out of the room.

You return to your mom’s house to grab your bags. You try not to be inside long. You try not to look at the chair where your mom was tied up. You try not to look at your blood stains on the floor. Valerie grabs your things and takes you to her place to stay the night. By the time you made it to her place, the sun was up. Neither of you were sleeping anyway even with aurors guarding the house. It was Thanksgiving. Your mom should be in the kitchen getting food ready but instead, it will sit in the fridge and rot. 

You and Valerie spent the day making funeral plans instead. It was to be small and private. The house will remain empty and untouched until you can return for Christmas. That Friday morning after you and Valerie head to the church that your mom wanted to be buried at. There was no service. Not that you didn’t want there to be but you didn’t want to invite anyone because you couldn’t explain how she died. After the funeral, you and Valerie stop to get breakfast.

“I’m going back to Hogwarts today. I just can't be here any longer,” you and she nods.

“I understand. You still haven’t heard from Severus and I’m sure you want to see him. Let him know you’re okay,” she pauses. “Or as okay as you can be.”

“I was told that there was some kind of escort system in place to help me get back without taking a plane.”

“Yes, me and two other aurors will be escorting you. It's a carriage pulled by thestrals.”

After breakfast, you return to Valerie's to grab your things and get ready to leave. You try to get up and walk but you could do it for the most part but you were still in pain and would need to sit in the wheelchair occasionally. You bring it with you just in case you need it. 

The trip was long but it was still light out when you arrived. It had been arranged to the carriage to land on Hogwarts grounds You could see McGonagall and Filch waiting to greet you. You didn’t see him at first but Severus was there behind them. Even from a distance, you could tell he was nervous. You finally land. Valerie steps out first to greet McGonagall and Severus. Filch goes to grab your bags and brings them inside. One of the aurors gets the wheelchair set up for you and you can see Severus’ face drop at the sight of it. When the door is open for you and you are helped out you try not to show any pain but it was hard. You walk past the chair and head straight to Severus. You were moving slowly but he closed the distance between you.

“I hate seeing you like this,” he says to you and pulls you to him. Once there in his arms you finally allow yourself to feel all that has happened. You sob. Uncontrollable, unbridled tears. He holds you tight and rubs his hand over the back of your head. He pulls back when he feels the staples. Your knees go weak under you and you fall. He holds you tight so you don’t hit the ground and puts you in the wheelchair. 

“Take care of her. She’s in so much pain,” Valerie says walking up to Severus. She places a hand on his shoulder. “In more ways than one. She’s been hard on herself and keeps blaming herself for her mom’s death. Don’t let her do that. I don’t want her to spiral like when her dad died.” Severus looked scared at that last comment. 

“Thank you for taking care of her. I can never repay you for your kindness. It means the world to me,” he says taking Valerie’s hands in his. 

“Well, she’s my best friend. I would do anything for her. You mean a lot to her,” Valerie looks at you. “Just keep an eye on her.” Valerie crouched down in front of you. “Hey, I love you. Don’t keep everything inside, okay? Severus and I are here for you. I’ll see you soon.”

“I know. I’ll try not to. Have a safe journey,” you say and grab her hand before she walks away. “Please be careful. He could go after you now too.” She nods and walks away to board the carriage and leave. Severus wheels you inside. On the walk there McGonagall speaks to you.

“I can’t tell you how glad I am to hear you’re okay. You can take Monday off if you’d like,” she said and you shake your head.

“No, I can’t just sit back and allow this to stop me from teaching those children how to defend themselves in situations like this. I can’t sit idly by.” Severus and you say your goodbyes to McGonagall and he starts to wheel you to your room. You stop him. “No, take me to yours. I don’t want to be alone.”

“Of course,” he said softly and turned to wheel you to his room. On the way there students were staring at you and him. They were covering their mouths at the sight and you weren’t sure it was because he was with you and you were going to his room or if it was the sight of you bruised and in a wheelchair. You look down to avoid their eyes and tried to ignore the whispers. Once in Severus’ room and he turns to you. “I’ll get you some tea and something to eat. I’m sure you are starving.” 

Severus leaves and you look around the room while he’s gone. On his desk, you see the crumpled note from who you assume must be Theo. You wheel yourself over and read it. You place your hand over your mouth to stifle your sobs. Severus rushes over to you and pulls the letter from your hands. He crouches down in front of you, his hands on your shoulders. 

“Breathe, you’re okay. Just breathe,” he says soothingly. You nod and eventually your hyperventilating slows to normal breathing. 

“I’m so tired,” you say and try to stand but the pain is too much and you fall back down into the chair with a small yelp.

“Please let me help you,” he says and tries to lift you up.

“No! I don’t need your help,” you yell at him. “I can do it on my own!” He takes a step away from you. There’s hurt in his eyes but you continue to push yourself out of the chair. You managed to push yourself up but you crumple to the floor. You clench your fists and slam them onto the floor and yell. Sobs ripple through your body. Severus sits across from your and pulls you into his lap. You place your head on his chest and let the tears flow. You wrap your arms around him and grip his robes in your clenched fists. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. You were only trying to help.”

“It’s fine. You’ve dealt with so much I don’t blame you for snapping,” he says and lifts you up from the ground. “Please just let me help you. You nod and allow him to help you into his bed. He starts to walk away but you grab his sleeve.

“In one of my bags is a t-shirt. Can you grab it for me?” He nods and walks over to your bags and searches for it. While going through the bags he comes across your bloodstained clothes. He lingers on them for a minute, clenching them in his hands. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know they were in there. You can throw them away.” Severus puts them aside and pulls out a black t-shirt.

“This the one?” He asks and you nod.

“Umm,” you say when he hands it to you. “I hate to ask but I need some help,” you say and look at him sheepishly. His face flushes red.

“I won’t look,” he says and helps pull the shirt off you but it gets stuck. “Oh, sorry I may have to.”

“Sev, it’s okay. I just need to get out of these uncomfortable clothes. Please.” He nods and opens his eyes. He helps you get undressed. You wince when you lift your arms up and once your shirt lifts up the large bruise on your stomach where Theo kicked you is revealed. You instinctively move to cover it up. Severus has anger and hurt in his eyes and he pulls the t-shirt down over you. You pull off the pants you had been wearing. The t-shirt is huge and fits you like a nightgown. 

“I should have been there for you. I should have stopped him,” he says and you can hear the anger in his voice.

“Sev, there was nothing you could do. I’m sorry. I know the bruise upset you,” you say and you feel tears well up in your eyes.

“He hurt you and I can’t take that away. You are in so much pain you can’t move on your own. I swear I will kill that man.” You pull Severus down onto the bed with you and you wrap your arms around his neck. 

“Look at me,” you say and lift up his chin so his eyes are level with yours. “I’m okay. I’m here. I wish it didn’t happen believe me I do. I relive it every time I close my eyes but I’m still here. Try to live in this moment.”

He looks you in the eyes for a moment assessing what you said. He looks down momentarily before leaning forward and placing his lips on yours.


End file.
